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Ask Deb Anything- Your Questions Answered

I’ve been asked 1000’s of questions.  Not one is weird, strange or insignificant.  They all have meaning and I know there is desire to understand the unknown.  Humans are seekers and especially after a significant loss we have so many unanswered questions.  

I’m honored to provide my perspective and experiences from my journey so far.  It doesn’t mean it’s the only truth or the only answer.  I love providing my insight to anyone who is curious.

First question that is always asked.  “Are they okay?”

My answer is 100% YES.  I joke that there is no taxes or dieting, so it must be heaven but with humor aside, our loved ones do not take with them the pain and struggles they endured while experiencing life on earth.

Know that we are all living our human experience here and when we cross over we are not the same. We gain a new understanding. Their personalities will come through as you remember them, however if they were cruel or not a good person, that will have changed.  They may perhaps, apologize for their behavior. They don’t carry the anger and sadness that they experienced here on earth, but they remember and will talk to you about this experience.

I have said over the years, being a messenger is an honor and while my clients are grieving it would be difficult if those in the afterlife were grieving as well.  For me, it would take a lot of energy to manage.  Your loved ones whether you had a positive or negative relationship will provide insight into your relationship, but they do not carry the hardships they had before crossing over.

Many times, I find they are having a party with other loved ones whom they have met, including beloved pets and ancestors.  We are the ones missing them but they are still with us and are finding new experiences on the other side.

Are they with me all the time?

Well, I hope not!  Like those experiencing life on earth, we are not with our loved ones or our community 24/7.  That would actually make us a little nuts.  We need to have our alone time.  

Since we miss them, we have a desire to know they are around us.  Know that they certainly are with you and see what you are going through.  When I’m doing a session and the loved one talks about odd things such as plumbing issues, career changes and family concerns it’s because they are seeing what is going on in your life and they want you to know they support you.

They enjoy sharing about trips you have taken or are about to take, new babies and accomplishments.  Many times, they will discuss health concerns or someone in the family that has been difficult.

These explanations are evidence that they know and see what is happening in your family.  They are aware of your life, the ups and downs that we each live through.  Many times, they will visit me before your session.  They love making themselves known especially if they had a lot of personality.  

How do I know they are visiting me?

They visit you and show you signs. What stops this connection is our busy lives and our grief.   If we slow down and just be quiet and still we will notice them. This is what I desire for each of my clients who would like to connect with their loved ones.  The experiences are gentle most of the time.  Giving small indications that they are around.  It’s normally not a big “ahha” that must be my mom.  It’s more of a quiet awareness that is felt or heard. This is why so many that do feel their loved ones, feel as if they are making it up or just wanting it to be real.  I would suggest that most of the time when you are feeling your imagination at work, it’s truly is your loved one.

How I Connect with Your Loved One

When I connect with your loved one I must trust what I am receiving and I am 100% in the moment.  It comes from my right brain or creative side, I lose all analytical insight.  I take all of this information they share with me and interpret what spirit is saying to me.  It takes a lot of energy for your loved one to connect with the earthly realm, so I as a medium raise my energy to make the connection easier for them and I.

I am an empath and have the ability to use all 6 of my senses or all my Clairs. They “tap in” to all of my senses. I hear, see, smell, taste, feel and see a bit of a movie in my third eye to translate a message.  Over the years, I’ve built my own vocabulary that they use to show me things about them.  For example, if I see a newspaper unfolded it means to me this person was well read and they wanted to know what was going on in the world. A railroad or train either means they lived on a train or their name is Robert, Bob or James.

Sometimes, I will feel the pain of how they passed worthier illiness. Many times, I will cough if they passed from lung disease, hanging or a drowning.  Not always fun, but it’s their way of letting me know what happened to them. Taste is always interesting.  If they drank scotch, vodka or beer they may make me taste these things.  They may show me what their favorite food was or what they ate before they passed can be presented as well. If you snuck them pie or chocolate as a treat while they were ill, I get to taste it too.

This does become a little exhausting for me, and to manage this I have learned to turn it off when I’m not being a messenger.  I need earth time to feel grounded and be in my human suit.

Some of the Things They Can Do

These are just some of the ways a loved one can show they are with you.  They love messing with our electrical items, such as phones, computers and light bulbs.  Several times they have turned on my TV around 2 am to say, I’m here. 

These are just a few questions you may have and if you want to hear more you can connect with my latest podcast on Spirited Straight Talk where I talk about these things and more of your most wanted answers.

Namasté

Deb Sheppard

Signs Your Loved Ones Are Visiting You.

Death is not a permanent goodbye…

I want to remind you that the same way you are learning to communicate with your loved ones in Spirit, they are also learning to communicate with you.

Signs are a language that your loved ones in spirit use to get your attention.  They do not have vocal chords, so they use signs to send messages to you, bring you comfort, show you they love you and let you know they are with you every day.

Sometimes you might not notice the signs because they can be very subtle.  You may think of them randomly while you are focused on something but feeling present in the moment.  They are saying hello.  When I connect with your loved ones it is not LOUD it is very quick and gentle.  It will also feel like this for you. Have you noticed any of the signs?

Familiar Smells That Bring Memories

Have you randomly smelled cologne or perfume that your loved one used to wear? Smells hold memories that your loved ones use to show you they are close by. For example, if your Dad was a cigarette smoker, you just catch a whiff of cigarette smoke when you are home alone by yourself. 

Signs Through Pets

Pets can see and sense Spirit too. If they randomly perk up and start barking or staring at a chair in a corner that your loved one once sat or spent time in, it’s a sign.  They are there with you.  Say hello. 

Songs That Bring Meaning and Love

If a special song plays in your car, house or when you are out shopping it is not a coincidence. Spirit uses music to communicate and send strong messages. It could be a sign for you.  It may pop up when you least expect it. 

Repeating Numbers

Seeing numbers repeatedly like the birthday of a loved one, or a specific time of death is a sign that they made it to Heaven. They love using numbers because it is a very recognizable sign and it is easy for them to communicate this way. It may show up routinely on license plates, clocks, or even receipts!  This happens to me all the time with my late husband.  I see the number 54 everywhere.  He was born in 1954 and died at the age of 54.

Waking Up and Thinking Of Them Randomly At Night

Waking up at the same time every night is a sign. Bedtime is the easiest way for your loved one to reach you because your mind is in a relaxed state.   When you are relaxed you are more open and present to seeing or feeling signs around you. 

Dream Visitations

Those in spirit love coming to visit you in your dreams. To them visiting in your dreams is a great way to communicate with you.  You might see them happy and smiling at you or they may come and have a conversation with you. These dreams come every so often and are very real. You may even wake up thinking it actually happened.  

Hearing Your Name Being Called

Have you ever heard your name being called and nobody was there?  You might sometimes hear your loved one. No, you are not crazy. They will sometimes call out to you or say something that you can hear audibly to remind you of their presence. You might even hear then speaking to you through your thoughts when you are upset or need guidance.

Phone Calls From Heaven

I have had many readings where loved ones have come through the phone lines. You might get a call from their number or your phone might ring randomly, and nobody is there. These calls normally come from souls that liked to play jokes here in this world. If your dad or brother was a jokester, they may be prank calling you from the afterlife. Spirit is energy and can manipulate electronics such as phones, TVs, and computers to send a message. 

Feeling A Spiritual Presence

I have had many souls come to tell me that they visit their loved ones at night. You might feel them sit on your bed or just feel their presence in the room with you. When you feel the presence of a loved one, talk to them. They can hear you and love coming to check up on you.

Seeing A Figure or Silhouette

If you have ever thought you saw your loved one standing in the hall or saw a figure move past you, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Sometimes you might catch a glimpse of your loved one for a split second. It’s rare but it does happen. Sometimes, they also will show up in photographs as distortions, blurs, lens flares or sometimes even orbs.

If you can relate to any of these signs, it means your loved ones are close by in spirit and trying to communicate with you. You are not alone in what you are sensing and feeling. It is real. It is why I love leading the way for groups of people to connect with spirit. 

Namasté

Deb Sheppard

3 Important Dream Symbols To Recognize

We all dream.  Some people dream all the time and others not as often.  Dreams can be very strange and most of the time they seem to make no sense at all.  However, they could be signs and messages from your guides.  

Metaphors

When I’m doing a session for someone, I receive a lot of messages in metaphors because it is a quicker way for me to communicate with your loved ones, your guides and the other side.  

When I was in high school, I took shorthand. Shorthand is an abbreviated symbolic writing method that increases speed of writing as compared to longhand.  The process of writing in shorthand is called stenography.  But what we learned was to basically make scribbles to translate what the other person was saying.  This was primarily used in an office where a “secretary” would transcribe what their boss was saying so he or she could write as fast as they were speaking.  Then they would take the written short-hand and type it out so it could be read.  

Today we use a similar shorthand when texting.  U for you, R for are, #4 means for or four, UR is you’re, xfer means transfer and of course all the emojis.  We don’t realize it, but we abbreviate to communicate.   Dreams are very similar to this where symbols, animals, weather and other symbols in your dreams can provide a lot of insight.

Water:

If you see water, such as a river, ocean, tidal wave, mucky water it represents a certain emotion.   When you dream of water it helps you to understand what type of emotions you are feeling or someone around you may be dealing with.  For instance, let’s say you are having some tension at work or with your partner.  The symbol of water can let you know what you are dealing with or what’s going to happen.

Imagine that you see a calm lake, it’s very clear and you feel safe.  This may be showing you to expect a calm forecast in life.  However, if it’s mucky and stagnant water, it may be time to realize it’s time to get things moving and make a few changes.  Who wants to sit in stagnant water?

Spiders:  

They bring your attention to your creativity.  Embrace your ideas and dreams,  it is time to take action.  Find the time to balance between your past and your future.  The spider is giving you a message that you weave your life like a web and that your reality is yours to create.  The spider symbol makes it clear that what you see before you is the result of your thoughts.  In other words, the spider symbol in your dream can show you that your current reality does not suit you.  It is time to make changes.

Snakes:

This symbol is telling you that a transition or change is coming or needed.  Snakes can also come with healing properties.  Do you recall the symbol for health care providers?  It has a snake on it.  The snake is also about transformation.  It signifies rebirth.  The snake totem symbolizes protection.  It has poor vision and has no external ears, so it relies only on its senses to get familiar with its environment.  Historically, snakes represent fertility or a creative force.   As snakes shed their skin through sloughing, they are symbols or a sign of immortality and healing.  

The Caduceus is the medical symbol with one snake or two snakes.  The stick is actually a staff that was carried by the Olympia God Hermes.  The Greeks regarded snakes as sacred and used them in healing rituals.  Again, believing that the skin-shedding was viewed as rebirth and renewal.  Keep this in mind when you spot a medical alert bracelet featuring the seemingly sinister serpents.  

Another symbol

The other day I did a session and my client who had a recurring dream about a big fire.  She is standing above a crowd looking down and was concerned it was something terrible.  She wants to be a motivational speaker, but was dragging her feet.  Her fire dream symbol was very positive because it means fame, and a rebirth like the phoenix rising.  It is also lighting her fire, so to speak, urging her to get out there and do her calling.

Dreams can be our guides

Just remember that dreams are just another way for our guides and loved ones to give us messages.  They are not there to scare us or make us feel unsettled.  When these dreams are intense, they are showing us how to pay attention to our lives.

Writing down your dreams in a journal will certainly help you hear and of course see the messages from those trying to help us.  It’s best to write your dreams down first thing in the morning, since our dreams details can fade during the day. We will be doing a dream journal to learn about how to interpret our dreams during my 30 Day Energy Shift Online class.

Find our more

Find out more for my 30-Day Energy Shift-Get The Clarity You Need because on week 3 you will learn more about interpreting Dreams and Symbols.  

Namasté

Deb Sheppard

Top 3 Most Asked Questions about the Afterlife

I’ve been asked 1000’s of questions about loved ones and the afterlife.  Not one question is weird, strange or has felt insignificant.  All questions are welcome and all have meaning. Most people have a desire to understand the unknown and we as humans are seekers. When we have a significant loss we have so many unanswered questions so we begin to seek the answers.  

As a medium, I’m honored to provide my perspective and experiences from my journey but it doesn’t mean it’s the only answer.  I love providing my insight to anyone who is curious.

1. Are they okay?

My answer is normally 100% YES. I have a funny line that I use “There are no taxes or dieting, so it must be heaven”  I bring humor to reading and events because it does bring the energy level up and helps people relax but with humor aside, our loved ones do not take with them the pain and struggles they endured while experiencing life on earth.

Their personality traits will come through as you remember them, however if they were cruel or not a good person, that will have changed.  They may perhaps, apologize for their behavior while with you, but they don’t carry the anger and sadness that they experienced here on earth.

I have said over the years, being a messenger is an honor and while my clients are grieving it would be difficult if those in the afterlife were grieving as well.  For me, it would take a lot of energy to manage.  Your loved ones, whether you had a positive or negative relationship will provide me insight into your relationship, but they do not carry the hardships they had before crossing over.

Many times, I find they are having a “party” with other loved ones whom they have met on the other side.  We are missing them, but they are still with us and are finding new experiences at the same time.

Are they with me all the time?

Well, I hope not!  Like those experiencing life on earth, we are not with our loved ones, our community, or our beloved fur babies 24/7.  That would actually make us a little nuts.  We need to have our alone time and the other side knows is the same.  

Because we miss them, we have a desire to know they are around us and they certainly are.  When I’m doing a session loved one talk about odd things such as plumbing issues, recent injuries, career changes and family concerns because they want you to know they see what is going on in your life right now and they are here with you.

They also enjoy sharing about trips you have taken or are about to take, new babies and accomplishments.  Many times, they will discuss health concerns or someone in the family that has been difficult so you know they are along side you at times.

They share these things as evidence that they know and see what is happening in your family.  They are aware of your life, the ups and downs that we each live through.  Many times, they will visit me before your session, they show up early and start poking at me.  They love making themselves known especially if they had a lot of personality here on earth.

How do I know they are visiting me?

My desire is for each of my clients to connect with their loved ones on their own.  What stops this connection is our grief and the business in our lives.  

As a medium, I am a messenger and experience no grief around the loss of your loved.  I am able to center myself and open up to feeling connecting with the spirit world.  It takes a lot of energy for a loved one to connect with the earthly realm. I must raise my energy to make the connection and they lower theirs to connect with me.

This does become a little exhausting for me as a medium and channel. I am able to “turn off ” the connection when I’m not being a messenger. I too need earth time to feel grounded and be in my human suit to experience this life also.

During this pandemic because we are staying in place, many people are having more dreams and experiences with their loved ones.  Why?  We are at home, doing less and are more focused on the now. We are not as distracted with our to do lists.

Staying in the present is a form a meditation.  The experiences with loved ones are gentle most of the time, they show small indications that they are around, it’s more of a quiet awareness that you feel or hear.

How I connect with your loved ones

As a medium, the information comes through my right brain where our imagination is located.  This is why so many that do feel their loved ones, feel as if they are making it up or tell themselves that they just want it to be real. I will tell you if you randomly think of your loved one most likely it is them popping in to your “right brain” or where your imagination comes from to say hello.

This is why I must trust my intuition 100%.  I have to lose all analytical tendencies and trust the information completely. I use all my 6 senses and from that I’m able to interpret what a spirit is saying to me.  It’s not “just” a voice in my head.

I hear, see, smell, taste, feel and see things as well as using my third eye to translate a message.  Over the years, I’ve built my own vocabulary that they use to communicate with me and show me what they would like to share.  As an example, if I see a newspaper unfolded, this is my symbol for a person being well read or informed. They show me this to say they wanted to know what was going on in the world.

Sometimes, I will feel their pain of how they passed.  Many times, I will cough if they passed from lung disease, hanging or a drowning or fire.  Not always fun, but it’s their way of letting me know what happened to them.

Taste is always interesting.  If they drank scotch, vodka or beer, I can normally tell and they may share their favorite food or what they ate before they passed.

They want to connect

These are just some of the ways a loved one can show they are with you.  They also love messing with our electrical items, such as phones, computers and light bulbs.  Several times they have turned on my TV around 2 am to say, I’m here. 

My late husband shows me two things often.  Pennies and the number 54.  He was born in 1954 and passed at the age of 54.  It’s always random and sometimes annoying because it appears constantly.  Pennies are significant because we still have his grandfather’s suitcase of old pennies.  He also collected change and would put it in a glass container although I wish he would leave dollars, but hey I can’t complain.  It is also interesting that I find these pennies in such odd places. The shower, my slipper, on the floor after walking past the same space several times.

Bottom-line- your loved ones want to connect and let you know they are okay and are with you.  Signs from your loved ones can be recognized, if you are open and centered enough to notice.

I always suggest that you bring joy into your life and remember the good times and bring humor, all of these things will help you connect with them and begin to recognize the signs.

You can see more conversation from this weeks Facebook live

Namasté

Deb Sheppard💜

7 Things To Help Manage Your Grief

Grief takes so many different forms.  It can be the loss of a loved one in the past or losing someone right now.  It is not always this loss of a loved one. Grief is also any change that we experience throughout our lives.  With our current world situation, we are ALL dealing with some sort of loss.  Since we are facing a changing future, stress and fear can be at the forefront of our daily lives and this can create grief and sadness that may be difficult to manage.  Especially, if we are alone or feeling the pressures of taking care of others. 

During this pandemic so many of us are at a time where we are unable to say goodbye to our loved ones.  The medical community is trying to find ways to help such as facetime but for many this isn’t enough.  We want to comfort our loved one and are unable to which is somewhat unprecedented.  The first question you may have is “Are they ok that I wasn’t able to be with them during their transition?”   The answer is always yes.  We believe we need to be with them to comfort them during such a difficult time.  They are ok, they know you love them, and this is an unusual time. 

If you have recently lost someone and want to communicate your feelings write to them, share all the good times and what you will miss. Keep good memories of them in your thoughts to have them in your heart.  Share stories about your loved ones with friends and allow them to share about theirs.  Look at photos and videos and recall some of your favorite times.  If you have traditions or rituals that you have passed down from generations to generations, remember these things and bring them out.  Be creative if you are unable to provide the things that you would normally have for these celebrations.

Most importantly ask for help and know that during this time it’s essential to not travel on this journey alone.  Asking for support also helps others to feel they are making a difference.  We are all in this together.

We can manage grief, but it’s a sneaky thing.  It comes when you’re not expecting it and you may not have any idea that it was going to show up.  Even positive changes can bring about a little grief that surprises us.  Grief has its own identity which means it looks different for everyone.  No one grieves the same or for the same reasons.  This is why no one can tell you how to grieve or when it should be over.  Experts, like me can give suggestions and tools to manage it but this is a personal journey and it is just yours.

I have helped so many people find the tools they need to manage and cope with their losses.  The losses experienced could be a divorce, job loss, children moving out, an illness, aging and of course the loss of a loved one.  I’m sure I haven’t seen it all and there have been times with clients that I have wondered “how is this individual still living through their life journey”.  Their courage has inspired me and at the same time made me realize how blessed I am.   There is always someone out there with a much more difficult story than our own.

This isn’t to minimalize anyone’s circumstances, but when we hear someone else’s experiences it can make us grateful for our own story.  It may show us that we can heal perhaps because our own story is manageable.

Sometimes grief has a deeper meaning because we are not just grieving the current situation, we are also grieving our past or something from our past. Sometimes, our grief wasn’t healed or managed, so when we are at a point that grief seems to be unmanageable, it can often be because of the previous layers of grief that we didn’t address, and this can even go back to our childhood. 

However, we can heal the past to get to our current situation for healing.  It may take some time and some inner strength, but it is possible.  You are not a pioneer in this situation and there are hundreds of ways to get to the root of the pain and to understand tools to heal and feel that life is manageable.  

Grief can make you feel that ache in your bones and you may feel that this will never get better or go away.  It can eventually come to a place where it becomes an experience to learn from instead of feeling that the grief is controlling every aspect of your life.  

I have found that there are a few steps to understanding grief.
  • Guilt is the number one catalyst for intense grief.  Guilt holds tight and it seems to control our emotions.  It can prevent you from beginning the healing process.  Holding on to guilt will make the process take so much longer.  I have had clients that have held on to guilt for 10, 20, 30 years or more.  It can also make you believe you should not be happy.   Guilt is ingrained in most of us and like myself were taught that guilt had value.  We are taught that if you have sinned, then healing is out of the question. 
  • Finding a way to forgive yourself and others will be one of the biggest steps to begin moving the grief.   Over the years this has probably been the number one reason that grief is still holding on strong.
  • Understand that you cannot always control the outcome can you control the choices someone else makes.  In my book “Grieving to Believing” I discuss how we do not have the power to control the outcome of someone else’s choices and journey.  We are taught to take care of others to give to others and to ignore our own needs.  Thinking of ourselves first is considered “selfish”. Well, if you want to believe that, you are limiting your potential.  We all have a responsibility for ourselves.  
  • Healing from grief can be a lesson in boundaries.  Sometimes others just don’t want your help, or they want to do it themselves.  Respect your loved one’s boundaries and choices.  Think of it in reversed, do you want others to step in and take over your life? Be respectful of boundaries and because you will understand that the guilt you are carrying may not be yours to carry and understanding this will provide you a little wiggle room to begin the healing process.  
  • I don’t think “everything happens for a reason”, I have taught this for many years.  This is a common saying that people say all the time because they don’t know what to say so they fall back on this and it can drive me a little crazy.   We can find a purpose from things that have happened, but I have never felt that there is always a specific “reason” for a loved one to depart.  As an example, my husband died by suicide along with many others in my life.  I have made this a mission to provide knowledge for those experiencing what I have experienced.   I have written a book about his passing and his mental health.  I’ve have also spoken to many groups about suicide and how to heal from the guilt and understand mental health.   I have done thousands of sessions with clients who have lost their loved ones to suicide.  This topic has been pushed under the rug for so long and I made it a purpose to help in the understanding and to help support others when dealing with this suicide.
  • Find a purpose from your losses which can help with grief,  for example, when someone experiences a divorce, I hear often of gratitude for the children that came from the marriage.   Try too look for the positive actions that will help to mend your heart that has been hurt.  A dear friend of ours, Judith Briles lost her son on a bridge in California where it was a non-working road.  But they hadn’t taken it down or protected young kids from socializing on the bridge.  He fell to his death at a very young age and his parents had no idea that this was a hangout for young people.  Judith fought to have the bridge taken down so no one else would perish from a senseless act.  The government didn’t protect these children, so the loss created a purpose to save others. She has a wonderful memoir that I endorsed for her When God Says No that I highly recommend. 
  • We are here to learn and grow and it is not always easy.    Earth is where we are to learn spiritual lessons and sometimes we “awaken” more layers when we experience pain.  We grow and look at life differently and it can put us on a new path.  Many times, we see things from such a different perspective, and I have found that this can push us into discovering more about ourselves and our journey here in our Earth School.   When we can look at all the different perspectives from our situations it can help to manage the challenges we are dealing with.  
Simple ways to support you healing through grief.

This may sound simple but there are common steps in the grieving process. 

-Feelings can come and go without announcing themselves, and grief can be very unexpected and catch us by complete surprise.  

-There are no rules to your grief process. Grieve your way, don’t let someone else tell you what you should do to heal.  That was their experience-not yours.  Of course, take advice it you want to take it but don’t let others dictate what you “should” be doing. 

-There is no timeline, in when or how you grieve.  It’s your grief.  Grief won’t leave you, but it will change over time. 

-Hugs are better than words.

-It’s okay to question life and your belief system.

-Just because you are blessed in life does not mean you can’t grieve.

-If you’re not okay and someone asks if you are okay it’s alright to acknowledge this and to say something like “not today, but I hope tomorrow is better”.  

-Ask others to honor your pain and walk with you, by not telling you how to heal. Know that you are not a victim and you can ask others to respect and have compassion to your healing process.

-Grief doesn’t make sense many times.  Everyone carries grief differently.  It is ok to feel that no one understands what you are going through. 

-I truly believe that humor and joy are the best tools to healing. This can help you connect with your loved one and can help you feel them around you.  Guilt can keep us from allowing these experiences, but I guarantee that humor is the right medicine.  Our loved ones who have crossed over want that for us and they want to show you they are still with you.  Everyday look for something that makes you smile and better yet laugh.  It can be hard but watch comedy, talk about a funny time, remember something humorous about your loved one. 

-Try journaling, plant something, connect with new people or a new group, be with Mother nature, volunteer, do something in your home that feels like an accomplishment, adopt a pet, ride a horse, learn something new.  

See my talk about grief from this past week VIDEO

All my love and support during this time and every day. 

Namaste’ 

Deb Sheppard