Ask Deb Anything- Your Questions Answered

Spirited Straight Talk

I’ve been asked 1000’s of questions.  Not one is weird, strange or insignificant.  They all have meaning and I know there is desire to understand the unknown.  Humans are seekers and especially after a significant loss we have so many unanswered questions.  

I’m honored to provide my perspective and experiences from my journey so far.  It doesn’t mean it’s the only truth or the only answer.  I love providing my insight to anyone who is curious.

First question that is always asked.  “Are they okay?”

My answer is 100% YES.  I joke that there is no taxes or dieting, so it must be heaven but with humor aside, our loved ones do not take with them the pain and struggles they endured while experiencing life on earth.

Know that we are all living our human experience here and when we cross over we are not the same. We gain a new understanding. Their personalities will come through as you remember them, however if they were cruel or not a good person, that will have changed.  They may perhaps, apologize for their behavior. They don’t carry the anger and sadness that they experienced here on earth, but they remember and will talk to you about this experience.

I have said over the years, being a messenger is an honor and while my clients are grieving it would be difficult if those in the afterlife were grieving as well.  For me, it would take a lot of energy to manage.  Your loved ones whether you had a positive or negative relationship will provide insight into your relationship, but they do not carry the hardships they had before crossing over.

Many times, I find they are having a party with other loved ones whom they have met, including beloved pets and ancestors.  We are the ones missing them but they are still with us and are finding new experiences on the other side.

Are they with me all the time?

Well, I hope not!  Like those experiencing life on earth, we are not with our loved ones or our community 24/7.  That would actually make us a little nuts.  We need to have our alone time.  

Since we miss them, we have a desire to know they are around us.  Know that they certainly are with you and see what you are going through.  When I’m doing a session and the loved one talks about odd things such as plumbing issues, career changes and family concerns it’s because they are seeing what is going on in your life and they want you to know they support you.

They enjoy sharing about trips you have taken or are about to take, new babies and accomplishments.  Many times, they will discuss health concerns or someone in the family that has been difficult.

These explanations are evidence that they know and see what is happening in your family.  They are aware of your life, the ups and downs that we each live through.  Many times, they will visit me before your session.  They love making themselves known especially if they had a lot of personality.  

How do I know they are visiting me?

They visit you and show you signs. What stops this connection is our busy lives and our grief.   If we slow down and just be quiet and still we will notice them. This is what I desire for each of my clients who would like to connect with their loved ones.  The experiences are gentle most of the time.  Giving small indications that they are around.  It’s normally not a big “ahha” that must be my mom.  It’s more of a quiet awareness that is felt or heard. This is why so many that do feel their loved ones, feel as if they are making it up or just wanting it to be real.  I would suggest that most of the time when you are feeling your imagination at work, it’s truly is your loved one.

How I Connect with Your Loved One

When I connect with your loved one I must trust what I am receiving and I am 100% in the moment.  It comes from my right brain or creative side, I lose all analytical insight.  I take all of this information they share with me and interpret what spirit is saying to me.  It takes a lot of energy for your loved one to connect with the earthly realm, so I as a medium raise my energy to make the connection easier for them and I.

I am an empath and have the ability to use all 6 of my senses or all my Clairs. They “tap in” to all of my senses. I hear, see, smell, taste, feel and see a bit of a movie in my third eye to translate a message.  Over the years, I’ve built my own vocabulary that they use to show me things about them.  For example, if I see a newspaper unfolded it means to me this person was well read and they wanted to know what was going on in the world. A railroad or train either means they lived on a train or their name is Robert, Bob or James.

Sometimes, I will feel the pain of how they passed worthier illiness. Many times, I will cough if they passed from lung disease, hanging or a drowning.  Not always fun, but it’s their way of letting me know what happened to them. Taste is always interesting.  If they drank scotch, vodka or beer they may make me taste these things.  They may show me what their favorite food was or what they ate before they passed can be presented as well. If you snuck them pie or chocolate as a treat while they were ill, I get to taste it too.

This does become a little exhausting for me, and to manage this I have learned to turn it off when I’m not being a messenger.  I need earth time to feel grounded and be in my human suit.

Some of the Things They Can Do

These are just some of the ways a loved one can show they are with you.  They love messing with our electrical items, such as phones, computers and light bulbs.  Several times they have turned on my TV around 2 am to say, I’m here. 

These are just a few questions you may have and if you want to hear more you can connect with my latest podcast on Spirited Straight Talk where I talk about these things and more of your most wanted answers.


Deb Sheppard