Ask Deb Anything. Are My Loved Ones Ok? & More

Ask Deb Anything. Are my deceased loved ones ok? Why don’t our loved ones and guides visit us more in dreams? Deb tackles these questions and more!

Deb (7s):
Welcome to spirited straight talk the ultimate podcast for anyone who is ready to live a life with intention and help from spirit. I am your host, Deb Sheppard, spiritual teacher, medium and author helping you open up to the whole enchilada or like, we like to say this soul enchilada so you can truly make your soul rise. So let’s go!

Dana (36s):
So Deb Sheppard, I get to interview you today. This is an episode of ask Deb anything on Spirited Straight Talk.

Deb (46s):
Good. Hopefully I will get stumped.

Dana (50s):
Well, you should know the answers to all of these. LOL. We had people submit for the podcast, it’s on your podcast page, submit questions that they’d like to ask you for a Q & A. Every so often we do the Q & A. This is the first one. So this will be fun,

Deb (1m 7s):
But you’re not the one answering questions. I do love this because people have these questions about what I do or about the afterlife. This kind of helps so many people get resolution or answers versus just one person getting to reading, which I think is great. People get to benefit from that. But these are some of my favorite things to do. So I’m looking forward to some of the questions.

Dana (1m 32s):
And I’m Dana I’m Deb’s partner in crime.

Deb (1m 35s):
And the one that manages every single thing, the only reason we have this podcast is because of Dana.

Dana (1m 43s):
No, not just me. You have a team, but we really wanted to let people ask you questions that maybe they wouldn’t get to ask you normally.

Deb (1m 58s):
My life it’s all weird. So

Dana (1m 60s):
Even though we have the Facebook lives and stuff like that, but people like to get deeper into what they want to ask you. So we have compiled some of the questions they’re asking, and we also have some of the top questions. So I’m going to start with some of the top questions people ask, because most people want to know the answers to these first. Number one, are they okay?

Deb (2m 26s):
This question is asked all the time and I’ve had to really learn to say in the beginning of a reading that they are, because this is where people are really worried, especially individuals who have lost their children. Part of this, I let people know that there’s so much grief of the client that I’m reading for, that if the soul that it crossed over wasn’t okay, I could not do this work. It would be so challenging for me anyway. They will come through and talk about what happened before they pass and any challenges they had and things like that. But I’ve always felt peace from them and a sense of, you know, I’m okay. That’s the biggest thing about working with a medium is to let you know that your loved ones are okay, that’s the big thing.

Dana (3m 13s):
Are you ever afraid of connecting or when you connect with somebody on the other side?

Deb (3m 19s):
Not with them, I’m more afraid of the living than I am the deceased, but I’ve never felt afraid. I’ve even had people or souls that come through where that were horrible people. Ted Bundy was one of them that came through during the session. I know that I’m okay. I’m safe. They’re not who they were when they were here. So my physical safety and my mental safety is okay, but never have I felt afraid of connecting with the other side.

Dana (3m 46s):
How far back can you connect with a soul? Does it matter how long they’ve been gone or how recently they’ve crossed?

Deb (3m 54s):
No, I’ve been able to connect with them as they’re crossing or right after they’ve crossed. So there is no timeframe that people say they have to wait so many months. That’s just in my opinion, for your own personal grief. I’ve gone back to, I think Virginia colony, I think, has been back to the 1200’s for people that know that. That’s what we always say to people like they set up an appointment or they get a reading and they only want to connect with people that are really close to them. What makes it unique is if you have someone that isn’t your typical family member or friend that’s comes through. Being very open to that, and those are some of my fun ones for me, because it kind of stretches my abilities.

Deb (4m 39s):
It gives me that curiosity and what we can do with these abilities. So yeah, there’s no limit.

Dana (4m 45s):
Which is pretty amazing.

Deb (4m 46s):
It’s cool because for me, I’m like, wow, that’s cool.

Dana (4m 51s):
It’s interesting. You know, when, cause you do past lives as well. That’s one of your favorite types of sessions too. Obviously the healing stuff, the insight, but past lives, because you’re able to go into somebody’s past life and show them and tell them how it connects to this lifetime. There you go back several lifetimes.

Deb (5m 13s):
There’s some that I’ve done and I know nothing about the person and I started going to their past lifetimes and I usually do three or four. Then I go, does this makes sense? And they go, Oh yeah. They started telling me the things they’ve done in this lifetime, including fears and their employment and education. I find it so fascinating. That’s where it inspires me too, that this stuff is so unique and so wonderful to be able to touch into that, those kinds of things.

Dana (5m 45s):
Okay. So question a big question you get asked, do you believe in reincarnation and how fast do people reincarnate? Do you feel that your grandmother who passed away can come back in your child, that’s born a couple of years later?

Deb (6m 2s):
I don’t think there’s one permanent answer with that. The Buddhist belief that first of all, I guess I do believe in reincarnation and I’ve, done readings or I’ve seen things that have happened and people have been studied for this. So yes, I do believe in that. The Buddhist belief that you’re reincarnate in 44 days. To me, when you add four and four numerology, that’s eight, which means infinity, continuation, wealth, all kinds of different things. When you look at the Bible, it says that the earth was created in one day, there’s like the seven day process. I think it’s all a metaphor of days and time. There has been some research that where people do reincarnate within a few years of their passing.

Deb (6m 46s):
I don’t think it’s that frequent. When we look at what’s happened with the pandemic and other things throughout life, there’s big exits where people leave. I don’t think we can we come back that quickly? I think it takes time. I do believe that you will connect with your loved ones when you cross over. I don’t think there’s one type of science or belief that says, this is exactly how it is. I think there is such, I think there’s unlimited ways that we can incarnate and change and evolve. I think a lot of us leave and continue trying to evolve our spiritual lessons of enlightenment. But I don’t think we jumped back in the saddle that quickly.

Dana (7m 28s):
Do you think, and I think I’ve heard you say this before, but that you can sometimes in meeting the soul of your ancestor, carry a piece of their essence.

Deb (7m 44s):
Absolutely. There’s layers and layers and this could be an entire podcast, but for people that have been gone for a long time, maybe reincarnated, what’s called Akashic records. We can go into those records, which has also has your past lives. You can get information about who they were and what they did in that lifetime. The other part of it is that I think we’re part of these soul groups and parts of us come with an essence of our soul group. As well as if a child wasn’t born yet and you’ve got these grandparents or great grandparents that passed, they’re all connected that soul group. They’re gonna know who they were and bringing some of those personality traits.

Deb (8m 27s):
So the smile, the things they say, maybe their habits, maybe their hobbies, all those kind of things can be brought with them.

Dana (8m 35s):
That’s so cool. It’s interesting.

Deb (8m 38s):
Why didn’t I get the scientific mind, or the thin hot body, right?

Dana (8m 46s):
Well, this is kind of scientific! It’s scientific in a spiritual way. I think a lot of people don’t really understand this, or, well, none of us really truly understand it. We just do our best to try to realize what’s around

Deb (9m 1s):
People that you can ask a hundred mediums and we’re all going to have a different interpretation. I think we want that none of us know, 100%. It’s like you look at the Bible or anything, there’s a thousand religions that have one Bible out of one book. We have a perception and understanding and experiences that we share. I think there’s always going to be ways that we’re going to grow or change or look at things as time goes on and what happens to us.

Dana (9m 26s):
I’m going to have to throw a question out. What do you think heaven looks like? And I say, heaven in quotation marks.

Deb (9m 38s):
You guys didn’t see her fingers

Dana (9m 41s):
Because there’s many different names for that. We can call it the afterlife. We can call it the other side. A different dimension, heaven, whatever. We recently saw the movie Soul, which is the Disney movie. They have like little tram, not a tram. What is it, a little platform that moves and it takes them over. It looks like it’s a little bug zapper at the top.

Deb (10m 7s):
One of my favorite all time movies is Defending Your Life with Al Brooks and Meryl Streep, which has another idea. There’s no dieting there, which is always what I’m saying. There’s no dieting. I think heaven in my experience is another layer of energy or vibration. I do know that they’re always at peace, meaning that they’re still working through their things, but they’re not in that physical body that you and I have that we’re dealing with. Okay. Taxes and COVID and income taxes. Taking care of our business and our health. I mean, that’s the human experience. Where when I connect with those souls, they’re not having to deal with that anymore.

Deb (10m 49s):
However, with that said, I still think that there’s different layers of graduation when it comes to enlightenment and change and evolving. I think we still learn those lessons when we are crossing over. If we exit here early, it doesn’t mean that we still don’t have those things to learn. We just get to learn it in another environment. One ofD my one liners I’ve said forever is that there’s no dieting or taxes. So it must be heaven. My intention is always to say, they’re not struggling. They’re not suffering. I can also say that after all these readings I’ve done and all the connections from serial killers to all the negative people, to those that were just great people, I’ve never felt a Hell.

Deb (11m 39s):
Do I think that they are learning lessons and evolving? Absolutely. But I’ve never felt anyone in a purgatory or in a holding place or in a negative place. To me, that earth is just a school that we’re learning and it’s not easy. That when we cross over, it’s sort of a home situation where we’re evolving and trying to figure out what we didn’t learn and what we did learn and how to be just better intense souls.

Dana (12m 13s):
So speaking of when they crossover, do you believe that when somebody crosses over it was their time to go?

Deb (12m 23s):
No. A lot of people believe that it was their divine time and that may be for some, but I also feel there’s free will. I believe our bodies are fragile. I mean, I look at Covid, I just can’t imagine that that many people, including children made a choice to leave at that time. I think we’re just fragile humans. Our souls are strong and that accidents happen. Cancer happens. Murders happen, all these things that happened that crosses people over. But I don’t think it’s, everyone’s divine time. Maybe a few, but I don’t think everyone would.

Dana (13m 0s):
You’ve never felt because also when you feel soul’s crossover, sometimes they’re angry that they crossed over then they did. Sometimes they cross over and they’re like, what the heck?

Deb (13m 14s):
No, it’s not that they’re angry about being crossed over. They’re just upset that they wanted to be here longer. So if you think about 911, or you think about certain things that’s happened where people were taken earlier in life maybe a tragic car accident, things like that, even an accidental overdose or suicide. I think some of them were like, what was I thinking? So I’ve never believed that that was actually a defining time. What I’ve always taught is we take those experiences and decide what to do with them.

Dana (13m 45s):
So not everybody chooses their time. It’s not a predestined. I’m choosing my time to go.

Deb (13m 51s):
I can’t believe an eight year old child with cancer chose that time. I think we can do learn from that information or learn from those experiences. But I don’t think a parent that buried a child was divine. I just can’t, I can’t put my head around it personally.

Dana (14m 10s):
That’s not also what they’ve told you, what you’ve experienced from.

Deb (14m 14s):
Yeah. Yeah. From all the readings I’ve done, they’ve never said, Oh, this was my time. I’ve never had any of them come through and say that.

Dana (14m 21s):
Wow. Okay. I mean, but I think that’s important for people to hear from you though, too, because,

Deb (14m 27s):
And no one’s ever said, well, this was the day that I was supposed to die. So adios, thanks, bye.

Dana (14m 38s):
Yeah, no. There’s a couple of questions you get a lot, is can our loved ones protect us from the other side or are our loved ones orchestrating something for our lives here?

Deb (14m 56s):
I wish! Right! Make us rich! I feel like they’re around and they know what’s happening. Like when I do readings, the reason why they come through and talk about, Oh, so-and-so is going to school or getting married, or they had a baby or they’ve been sick or they had a car accident, is to let you know that they see what’s going on. It’s usually unusual things for your life. I do not believe that they can protect and stop us from crossing over. I think part of it is that we may feel them around us during those times or feeling it, but they can’t prevent it. Why didn’t they prevent your loved one from crossing over? Why didn’t they prevent you getting married to that person that was horrible. Why didn’t they prevent you from the car accident, but they are around to see what’s happening.

Deb (15m 40s):
They can’t intervene. That’s what people asked me. Are they watching out for so-and-so? Well, they’re watching, but they cannot prevent them from learning their own life lessons.

Dana (15m 52s):
Okay. But it’s important to know as well. Cause I think a lot of people have the missed information or missed understanding that our loved ones can intervene and either prevent things or make things happen. But,

Deb (16m 9s):
Well, that would be asking a lot. If that happens, I’m a little ticked off at my family and friends. I mean, last year alone, I had like with 12 people passed. Where have they been, or why aren’t they helping out here?

Dana (16m 24s):
Exactly. So another question many have asked is will my partner who’s crossed over be upset if I start a new relationship? Do they remain attached to us in a way where they don’t want us to move on.

Deb (16m 37s):
It really hurts my heart because for couples, especially that have been married a long time, I really believe they have that soul connection. Then they’re afraid that their partner is going to be jealous or upset. No, they know that we still have a life here. They know that we have to continue the journey that we’ve established and they don’t want us to be alone. For them it doesn’t that they don’t take with them that jealousy or that intention of you got to only save a place for me. What I say to people is your heart has room for a lot of loved ones. Whether it’s your, for babies, your children, your grandchildren, your friends, your heart is capable of living multiple.

Deb (17m 19s):
So when you fall in love with somebody else, it doesn’t mean you take out that person that crossed they, you still have room for them. Just remember, you’re not replacing them. You’re just adding to your heart.

Dana (17m 32s):
A couple of really important questions that people have asked. We put out some posts on social media to really find out what people want to ask, what they really want to know. There’s two that I want to leave for the end. So two big ones that people have asked

Deb (17m 56s):
Should I be nervous?

Dana (17m 58s):
No, I think you might know the answer psychic you.

Deb (18m 2s):
So let me just say to everyone, this is my experiences. This is what I have learned. If you’ve had a different experience or you’ve gone to a meeting that says something different and it really resonated with you, I’m not here to change your perception, your feelings, your faith, what you believe. I’m just saying here, this is my perspective. But again, if you’ve had a different experience, treasure that.

Dana (18m 33s):
So what if they don’t come in my dream, somebody that’s trying to connect with their loved ones. So if they don’t come in my dream that they come in someone else’s dream, what does that signify?

Deb (18m 45s):
Yeah. Your loved ones want to make a connection and they’re working really hard to let you know that they’re okay. However, if you’re not sleeping, if you’re having to take medication to sleep, if you’re not one of those people that can really go into a Zen kind of mode, then they will try other people. That’s why they come through mediums. But if your friend or loved one comes through someone else’s read or excuse me, dream, and they call and tell you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to connect with you. That’s how they’re connecting. They’re trying to say hello. They’re having difficulty doing it with you.

Deb (19m 25s):
So allow that to happen. The more that you heal and open up, they’re going to try to make a connection with you. They’re not saying, sorry, I don’t want to talk to you. Even if there’s guilt or any other kinds of things along with the grief that you have, they’re really trying to say that they’re okay.

Dana (19m 46s):
So let’s see, we have a question online. Do we meet our spirit guides while we’re still alive?

Deb (19m 53s):
Absolutely! So you’ve connected with your spirit guides and we do this during some of our classes and workshops is your guides are connected with you before you incarnate. Td then they stay with you after your incarnation. For me, I’ve had a variety of guides come through some believe they only have one, some believe it’s a relative. I really don’t hope for relatives very often, but mostly mine are other kinds of energies that have come through to help me in my life journey. Those are the little times in your life where you’re going make a turn here or make that phone call or make sure you do this, those little kinds of things that come through that are surprising.

Deb (20m 33s):
Those are your guides trying to help you. Again, they’re not giving you the lottery numbers. They’re not telling you what to do. They’re not disappointed. They’re just there to what we say guide you. It’s like holding a child’s hand. If they’re three years old and you’re at the zoo, your job is to guide them and not control them, but also protect them and let them know that things could be dangerous. We do have some grandchildren. So that’s what we’re talking about, but remember, you’re guiding them, but you’re not trying to take away their experience.

Dana (21m 6s):
Are there apologies from heaven? Do they see their issues when they are not on this side?

Deb (21m 11s):
Sometimes that’s the biggest ones! That’s why when people block a reading, like they don’t want to talk to a particular person. I’ve had people argue with me at larger events or even doing a private session that they don’t want to hear from somebody, but that loved one wants to come through and apology and apologize. It happens all the time. If you’re having a reading and you don’t want to hear from somebody because you’re still angry, remember that they may be trying to apologize for some of the pain they’ve caused throughout your life.

Dana (21m 41s):
Why is it that loved ones don’t visit our dreams more frequently?

Deb (21m 44s):
There are boundaries and structure there. I think it would be a little overwhelming if we had them there all the time. Think about a loved one that’s living. You’re not with them every single evening, you’re with them throughout your life. They also have work to do, they’re not done with their lessons of enlightenment and learning. They’re not there to be with you 24 seven and you have work to do. If you’re always with that grief and that connection, I think you’re going to miss out on a lot that we have to learn here.

Dana (22m 17s):
Let’s see. Barbara is asking, is there someone who comes to greet you when you crossover?

Deb (22m 24s):
Yes. Yes, yes. Many times it comes through in a reading where so-and-so greeted their loved ones. It’s interesting when you have young people that greet the parents or the grandparents, because they crossed over beforehand. I’ve even seen animals be there to greet them over. Also there’s those angels and guides that can be there. I know one story I’ve shared for over the years, I had hospice call me because this woman should have crossed over according to medical technology and data that she had been hanging on for like three weeks. They kept saying can you figure out why she’s hanging on? I said, well, first of all, she’s tired of you hanging around her room.

Deb (23m 4s):
Cause this was in her home. The second thing I got was her husband that she did not like was there to greet her to crossover. The hospice nurses left and went into the kitchen and they asked the husband, the late husband to leave and give her space. Within 20 minutes she crossed over. It’s interesting that we still carry some of those grudges and before we cross over and then I’m sure after she crossed over, she realized everything was fine. But yeah. So yes, they do greet us.

Dana (23m 40s):
So this question kind of plays into that. This goes along with reincarnation as well. Since a lot of us have had quite a few lives. When we die, we are united with our loved ones. Which loved ones? Does it depend on which life, but according to your teachings, we have soul groups, right. Can you explain a little bit more?

Deb (24m 5s):
Yeah. This is a great question. I haven’t been asked this one, I think there are different layers to it. I think what we expect on a human level is this is our expectations because we’re kind of one dimensional. When you cross over, you look at the layers of lessons and the layer of teachers and the layer of soul groups that you’re connected to. That’s why it takes time to be able to do that process. I think a lot of the ancestors, when you look at past lives, continue with us throughout our lifetimes. So again, you’re going to see them by based on a knowing more than it is on a visual or how we were related when you were on this timeframe.

Dana (24m 55s):
So this question is kind of goes a whole different direction. Do you connect with missing people? Do you work on like cases, for instance, the Kelsey Beareth case, somebody brought up specifically, which you spoke about on a radio show prior to them finding her

Deb (25m 16s):
Was this the one that was killed by her boyfriend?

Dana (25m 22s):
That recently kind of recently concluded? So yes I do. I work with some groups too and detectives and the find me group on these things. It’s sort of a needle in the haystack. I enjoy doing it because it’s outside the realm of someone personally grieving. It’s more about, let’s see what we can do. With Kelsey, they asked me on the air, but I wouldn’t answer it because it was such a new situation. I kept saying there were two people involved and definitely the boyfriend. I knew that she had crossed, but you know, just say those things on the radio and to hurt the family is not something I want to do. You have strong ethics and boundaries when it comes to the work you do and your abilities.

Deb (26m 5s):
I understand it’s a show we thing, but to me, it’s really honoring the family that’s left behind dealing with it. I will work with detectives depending if they’re open to this and with the find me group, I work with that and get what I can and I get to do the easy work. I get to see if they’re a serial killer or if it was a relationship where someone was jealous and kind of give that information where they have to do the rest of the work. I knew there was a case here in Colorado is the hammer murder. When it was brought to me a few years back, I said, this is a serial killer. They said, no.

Deb (26m 46s):
I drew, I think it was I-25 if you’re in Colorado, it’s a main highway. I said, there’s a housing development here, and a housing development here and this person.

Dana (26m 56s):
So you drew them a map,

Deb (26m 59s):
I drew them a map and said this person murdered here and there. Eventually they didn’t share information. Then recently we found out it was the same perpetrator and the guy was in prison, I think in Nevada or something and in fact tried to murder several other. I’ve been in cases where a child was murdered and they couldn’t tell who. I wrote down, I drew the crime scene, I profiled the perpetrator and it was actually a child psychologist this kid was seeing. So it’s certainly not happy moments, but it’s good to be part of it.

Deb (27m 40s):
They did find out that this psychologist was the murderer. So, I do the easier part, I guess I should say.

Dana (27m 47s):
You do the pro bono work. This is all pro bono work that you do through the Find Me group. Through detectives reaching out to you, which is really cool, but it’s also tough because

Deb (27m 58s):
Especially when it comes to kids. A lot of these murders are kids involved and, or missing children. But yeah, I do that work and you use different skills. So when I do a reading for someone who’s lost a loved one, the skills that you use are very different than when you do a cold case or missing person,

Dana (28m 18s):
How do you really teach yourself to let go of things you absolutely have no control over? So we just did a podcast on control that went out last week. But this is a question that somebody asked as well.

Deb (28m 32s):
Is there more to the question?

Dana (28m 34s):
I guess, how do you that, that’s the question? How do you teach yourself to let go of things when you don’t have control? I’m assuming that it’s creating extreme anxiety for them.

Deb (28m 46s):
Right. I think there’s more to that question. Like I’m not a big believer in teaching letting go, because I really feel like when you try to let go of something, there’s more underlying areas of things that we need to work on or understand. If you try to let go of this, what else is going to show up for you? The letting go is, have we learned the full lesson? Do we understand our voice? Do we understand our power? Is someone trying to control this? All those sayings in my opinion are part of how to let go. I don’t think that we can truly let go of something if we don’t understand all the depths of a situation, when you get to all of that is when you can finally say, I don’t have to hold onto this any longer, but to me, it’s it takes a lot of work.

Dana (29m 39s):
Yeah. So somebody asked how you connect with the other side? They knew that I guess they had a reading with you. So they knew that you coughed when somebody had a lung issue, but they asked for more information about how you connect with the other side.

Deb (29m 56s):
Dana usually explains this before a session or Jennifer does, or someone does before me Dana, before a group. All of us mediums are a little bit more unique than others. So we use different senses. We use different kind of frames of things like from our own life experiences that we see. So there’s visions, there’s smell, there’s tasting, there’s hearing. As an empath. I will feel parts of my body like the coughing. You just kind of combine those things together to be able to interpret a message.

Dana (30m 27s):
You have a little movie playing inside your head at the same time.

Deb (30m 31s):
Yeah. That’s the reference part. Like, you’ll see something like, I remember this was years ago. That’s happened since then, but I drew a floor plan in that outdoor area in the house and they go, yeah, well, it happened to be a great aunt’s house that I’d been to years ago that I’d seen. So it takes from your point of reference that you’re able to draw.

Dana (30m 53s):
They show you what they want you to see so that you can understand the communication from the other side.

Deb (30m 60s):
Correct. So sometimes people want to know a nickname or those kinds of things. If it’s not a reference point for me, then sometimes there’s a struggle. Like we can hear music, I can taste things. But like any kind of profession you are able to work through how to do a shorthand to be able to interpret the information. For some people they think it might be wrong, or it wasn’t exact. What we get is glimpses of information to be able to interpret

Dana (31m 39s):
They show you things really quickly is what you always say. It’s really like a vision, a feeling of sound boom, and you interpreted that quickly, but you have all your Clair senses. So you know, you see, you feel, you taste, you smell. You have that movie along with feeling things throughout your body.

Deb (32m 6s):
The other part of it is the shorthand, the things that someone maybe I know it’s female or male, or was there personality traits, you feel that in as it comes.

Dana (32m 18s):
So you see generations.

Deb (32m 19s):

Dana (32m 19s):
So you’ll see the generation based on where they fall on a family tree.

Deb (32m 24s):
Correct. What I always love it when someone’s in their mid sixties, and they’ve only had one person in their generation die or their parents’ generation. Some people get really limited. For me, anyone, anybody that has ever crossed over in your world or bubble can come through

Dana (32m 49s):
We talk about it, your network. If you think about it being your, not only your family tree, but your Facebook network, if you think of your network as being like a Facebook network, cause there’s people, you don’t contact all the time on there. Most of us have 500 to a thousand friends. Right. But they can pop in.

Deb (33m 9s):
So one of my readings from a few years back was a dear friend, and she was going through some different things in her life, and I’m doing a reading. I said, I see The Mayflower. She goes, yeah, I became over on the Mayflower. So with that said, don’t be attached to, they haven’t been gone long. I didn’t know them very well. Anyone, I mean, if I’ve ever had, if I ever have a reading, I probably have at least 300 plus people who have passed, it could come through. You have a big family. So I can imagine yours.

Dana (33m 47s):
Yeah. It’s a big Hispanic family. I have about 50 million cousins because it was a huge Catholic. They all had 10 kids back in those days. I didn’t know them. I mean, all their first names are married,

Deb (34m 5s):
I will tell people probably one of my biggest pet peeves is when people limit who can come through. I mean, if you want to put a kink in my head, No, no. Yeah.

Dana (34m 18s):
We recently had a session not too long ago with somebody whose brother had crossed over years ago. They were very young and the issue was they didn’t want to acknowledge that loved one. That loved one kept popping in, kept making you circle around and around and around. They had a loss of somebody else who they really wanted to connect with. They weren’t allowing the others to come through to open that door.

Deb (34m 52s):
The big thing for a medium for all of you to know is we can’t control who comes through. The only thing we are is a vessel and we’re open to who comes through. Your job is to be part of the reading and figure out who that may be. It may not be who you expect. I think for the work I do, that’s my number one most challenging thing to do is when they’re reading starts, when someone’s like, not even trying to figure out who it may be.

Dana (35m 21s):
Yeah. They just say no, no, because they have this idea of that one or two people that they only want to hear from those people. They don’t acknowledge the others, which makes it really difficult to get the messages

Deb (35m 34s):
I’ll be done with the session and guess what I want?

Dana (35m 41s):
A big bottle of vodka.

Deb (35m 43s):
Part of it is that it’s not like we’re trying to be difficult. I know for me, it’s I want to give you the best reading, but you may have five people that come through briefly to say hello and that’s it.

Dana (35m 57s):
Yeah. Yeah. Always it’s just be open.

Deb (36m 2s):
What time did they come through?

Dana (36m 5s):
Which is the next question is how do you, so this, this person wants tips on how to make the best of a first reading. They haven’t had one yet, but they are going to have a reading.

Deb (36m 17s):
I must be psychic for saying those things

Dana (36m 20s):
It leads right into how to have the best session possible

Deb (36m 23s):
For me, and I’m not speaking for other mediums. I know a few other mediums out there say similar things that I use, so it depends on where you go. I don’t want to know who you want to hear from. I don’t want to know anything. I just want to know your name and that you want a medium reading. Then I will start bringing through people that want to say hello, or I’m sorry, or I loved you or thanks for being there. It may be someone from high school, who knows how far back this goes. Writing down everybody that you can think of that has passed and seriously for me, I mean, I’ve already had, I think a couple of people this year pass, and it’s only March 1st, last year, I think I had 10 or 12 people that had passed.

Deb (37m 15s):
Just remember that over the years, you’ve had your parents, friends, maybe you’ve had a larger family. Maybe you’ve been married more than once. I’ve had people say, well, I don’t want to hear from my ex or I didn’t know them.

Dana (37m 27s):
I don’t want to hear from my brother. He died when I was six.

Deb (37m 30s):
So the biggest thing is that you won’t get many of those, but you will get those people coming through. What’s really beautiful about that is there’s no way I would have known that information about you. A good medium says, I didn’t search your Facebook. I didn’t Google you. These are people that you went to high school with, or you went to college with. When you get those validation, it helps you trust the process. Then that person that comes through that you really wanted to hear from maybe the two or three people. It really solidifies everything about the afterlife and really helps without a doubt that they’re around and they will bring you through all kinds of information.

Deb (38m 11s):
Those ones that you really didn’t want to hear from, or, didn’t think of, it might only be five minutes of your hour session. The others will be the entire rest of your reading. But if you’re stopping that, the rest of the reading will completely be a struggle. Pregnancy losses, animals. I mean, I’ve had, what kind of animals come through.

Dana (38m 35s):
From fish to snakes. Wild game, horse horses, dogs, cats, goats, Guinea pigs. You recently had goats come in into a session. We’re like, what of all things? And it connected for that person. Goats. Yeah.

Deb (38m 52s):
Yeah. So chickens, I think we’ve had pigs. The more you allow to know any soul that has crossed over to come in your session, you will have the very best opportunity to connect with the afterlife. It will help you open up to feel them as well. That’s the only thing I asked, help validate those things and really write them down. If you’re at least 60 and you say, you’ve only had three people die, I will challenge you on that. And not really, it was just that we,

Dana (39m 23s):
And you will, you will say, okay, wait a minute.

Deb (39m 26s):
Yeah. Think about your best friend that her brother, think of your network. Think of a neighbor, all those things. You think, well, that’s a lot of people. Yeah. But you don’t know who’s going to come through. I can only tell you who I’m getting. Cause you’ve seen it.

Dana (39m 40s):
Oh, I’ve seen it way too many times where people struggle with it

Deb (39m 45s):
Or they’re saying no, no, no, then they will go, oh yeah, I remember

Dana (39m 49s):
Yeah. But the really cool thing is, is they just have to trust you to guide them through the process because they don’t have to do much talking. They just have to, it’s a yes or a no and acknowledgement. Yeah. You handle the process you bring them through, they just have to trust you and be open.

Deb (40m 9s):
It is. But people tell me is having this session is like two years of therapy. I’ve had a lot of psychiatrists and psychologists that send a client that has had a lot of grief. Then they go back to their therapy.

Dana (40m 27s):
Right. Lots of psychologists and psychiatrists and people to you when they’re at that point in their grief.

Deb (40m 32s):
Right. I just like being the messenger and I hope some of these questions will really help people understand like, Oh, this is how it works because these are very often asked questions in the 20 years I’ve been doing this.

Dana (40m 47s):
Well. That was awesome Deb Sheppard.

Deb (40m 49s):

Dana (40m 50s):
Thanks everybody. And we’ll see you next time. Thank you for joining us for this episode of Spirited Straight Talk. If you enjoy the show, make sure you subscribe so that you get notified of new shows. We’d also love it. If you’d leave us a review. And let’s connect, visit Debsheppard.com for more insights support workshops, and to book a session with Deb plus enter to get a free reading with Deb. All you have to do is sign up for the email list and you’ll automatically be entered. Just go to Debsheppard.com. That’s Deb S H E P P a R d.com.