Is Forgiveness Always Essential for Healing?

We must first forgive ourselves.

When it comes to forgiveness or learning how to forgive others what it really comes down to is the ability to forgive ourselves first. 

Many times when I do a reading for a loved one, forgiveness will become a part of the topic. I believe that there is tremendous power in forgiveness. Forgiveness can be a challenge, however our growth towards enlightenment has many of us looking at this lesson with a magnifying glass at times.  Forgiveness is one of the biggest challenges in our Life Lessons as part of our Soul Contracts.  

I would like to also give you a different perspective.

We are often taught that forgiveness is essential for personal growth and healing but in my experience as a spiritual teacher and medium, this is not always the case.  In my experience I believe you can move on, you can let go of anger and you can heal.  

We recently shared Dana’s life story on Spirited Straight Talk podcast regarding trauma and childhood abuse.   In this situation there was major trauma that took place and there was an expectation on her to “let go” of what happened and to forgive her perpetrators which were her stepmother, father and many other people of trust.  Dana and I spoke about her experience and contemplated why she was expected to forgive and have relationships with her abusers.  If you find yourself in this situation know that I do not believe your are dwelling on the past or harboring negative emotions.  You are giving yourself time to decide what is best for you.

Here are a few things that may help.

  • Analyze the situation and decide how you feel about what has been done to you.
  • Allow yourself time to heal.  There is no timeframe, and you are not doing it wrong.  The process is different for everyone.  If forgiveness is not a step you want to take yet, you will be ok.  I am not a fan of Dogma which teaches guilt and shame.  There is no shame in allowing yourself time to heal. 
  • Take your time. Saying you forgive someone when you haven’t can make you feel isolated.  Forgiveness cannot be forced, so allow yourself time to truly figure out how you feel.  Your healing process is the most important thing, so show yourself compassion.  If you are angry or hurting, then acknowledge that and don’t beat yourself up about it.  It is normal to feel these emotions if you have been hurt or betrayed. 
  • Acknowledge what happened and consider the severity of the situation.  Have they apologized and did they come to you directly?  It won’t always make up for it, but it is a good indication of remorse.  It may help you as you consider how you move forward.  
  • Remind yourself that the person who hurt you is human.  We all make mistakes.  If you can see them for who they are you may be able to “let go” of some of the anger.  Forgiveness is still your choice and allow yourself time to heal. 

Are you the one looking for forgiveness?

If you were the person who hurt an individual are you willing to take responsibility?  Can you apologize without sharing why you did what you did, unless the individual wants to know?  Are you willing to hear how your actions effected their lives without interrupting or defending yourself?  Can you accept they may not be able to forgive you?  Also, if you want the relationship to heal so they can trust you again, what are you willing to do?

There is no doubt everyone has hurt another person and for many of us that is not what we intended, but it does happen.  We are human and we will make mistakes, however we are also here to learn as we experience life.  

Wherever you are on a journey of forgiving yourself, forgiving others or just acknowledging where you are on your journey, know that you are going to be ok.    We all have our unique path of learning, healing our hearts and growing into the light filled souls we are meant to be.

Connect to Spirited Straight Talk Podcast to hear more of Dana’s Story and many other topics.

Namasté and Love,

Deb Sheppard

The Universe is Guiding us to share this!

Synchronicities, never seem to amaze me.  During my most recent podcast posted on March 29th (Listen here) we talk about a very important topic, child abuse. After we launched this episode, we realized that April is Child Abuse Awareness Month.   The Universe is giving us the guidance to prove that triumph and healing can happen for those who have been neglected, abused and hurt.

Throughout my many years connecting as a psychic medium and teaching spirituality I’ve covered many human experience topics. This one is close to my heart and soul.  My best friend and partner of 6 years, Dana shares her journey and healing from her childhood.  While I’ve heard most of her story, she has never shared this much of it. In fact we had to put it into a two-part episode. Episode 2 will be out on Monday April 5, 2021.

5 Children Die Every Day

During the pandemic we noticed that there were so many reports of child abuse. Statistics show, in the United States, we have an estimated in 4.4 million child abuse cases, 7.5 million children are affected. Heartbreakingly, 5 children die every day from child abuse. Neglect happens for 74.9% child abuse victims, and 92% of cases parents are the abuser. Lastly, 65,000 report sexual abuse.  This just astounds me. These are the cases that are reported, there are many more that are ignored? More info HERE. There are so many heartbreaking stories out there.

Without knowing Dana’s past, my first impression was a very different than what I now know about her. She has never shown anger that I would expect to see from someone who had this experience.  I see a determined, intellegent woman, who wants to help others and is driven to be the best at whatever she does.   She never lets the past define her, but strives to heal and understand. We only share her story to help others along their path to healing.

You Are Of Great Value

If you have struggled through an abusive situation, I want you to know that there is hope. Abuse can bring so much shame. If we talk about it, we can bring awareness and understand that it is not the abused that should feel shame. Our healing and challenges are unique and healing from our past looks different for each of us but, find your power and do not let the past define who you are today.  You are of great value no matter what anyone has said or done to you-You have a greater purpose than the shame and rejection you were shown-You are lovable, and you have great meaning to others.  

If You See Something Say Something

If you are an advocate for children or anyone who may be experiencing this type of situation please say something. Whether by proclamation, through social media, with graphics, by sharing this blog, the podcast or other means, spread the word about child abuse prevention and let your community know they can take action. 

Use these free prevention outreach tools to engage in supporting children, youth, and families this National Child Abuse Prevention Month (NCAPM)!

Namasté and Love,

Deb Sheppard

Do you have someone that frustrates you to no end??

We all have them. I call them our “teachers”. They can frustrate us, judge us, and cross our boundaries. They make us feel betrayed and we may feel unable to trust them. We are all just spiritual beings living a human experience.

This journey began about 15 years ago when my guides took me on a journey of discovery with Sacred Contracts. Through automatic writing they shared with me our true purpose of enlightenment and growth as spiritual beings. Prior to making our trip to our college called Earth, we agree to contracts with our soul group to share in our lessons.  We review what we desire to learn and try to create some sort of plan to embrace these contracts.  If you were planning a trip or to enroll in college, you would sketch out a plan, and this is no different when our soul chooses the lessons it needs to learn to achieve further enlightenment.  I call these contracts with our soul mates who are also our “teachers” Soul Contracts and these contracts consist of Life Lessons on our quest for a higher purpose.

For example, my abilities as a medium brings so many wonderful things and it allows me to help so many people, but the judgement, abandonment, and difficulties that come with what I do are my true lessons. We grow and understand more when things are difficult. When things are easy we will just ride the wave, but when things are hard we look for answers and we seek spiritual growth.  Our teachers are the main characters in our lives to create the environment for our growth. We will have people and things put in our path to create the life lessons we seek.

With this said, remember not all storms come to create chaos in your life, some come to clear your path.

Join me for Soul Contracts starting next week 11/11. We delve into this and so much more. It can be a lot of work but over 7 weeks we will discover what you are here to learn and how to navigate your teachers and lessons.

Love Deb 💜💜

Sacred Contracts-Why Am I Here? What is my purpose?


What is my purpose? 

The answer may be quite different than what you think.

We are all spiritual beings living a human experience and most of us want to figure out what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. What is our value of being on this planet? We have situations and occurrences that happen over and over again and we wonder why. We go to work every day and wonder, is this what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Do we have divine guidance? What should I be learning? Is there something more than what I can see?  

YES, there is! 

I sat down about 15 years ago to do some automatic writing. My guides took me on a journey of discovery with Sacred Contracts. They shared with me our true purpose of Enlightenment and growth as spiritual beings. Prior to making our trip to our college called Earth, we agree to contracts with our soul group to share in our lessons and experience our lessons together.  We review what we desire to learn and try to create some sort of plan to embrace these contracts.  If you were planning a trip or to enroll in college, you would sketch out a plan, and this is no different when our soul chooses the lessons it needs to learn to achieve further enlightenment.  I call these contracts with our soul mates Soul Contracts and these contracts consist of Life Lessons.

Simply put, this is Dharma. Dharma is an exchange of lessons for full enlightenment.  Dharma is also a vibration of love for each other and it allows us the ability to learn why we are here.  We exchange the energy of Dharma willingly to achieve this enlightenment.  We also agree to do this many, many times. Your life purpose is so much more than your “job”.

I do not believe my ability as a medium is my “Life Purpose”. I believe that my contracts are much more complicated than that. My ability brings me so many wonderful things and allows me to help so many people but the judgement, abandonment, and difficulties that come with what I do are my true lessons. We only grow when things are difficult. When things are easy we will just ride the wave, but when things are hard we look for answers and we seek spiritual growth.

Love Deb 💜💜

There is so much more to this and I hope you consider joining me in for my next Soul Contracts class.

Soul Contracts, Sacred Contracts and your Life Purpose.

Do you ask yourself “Why the heck am I here?”

Over two decades I’ve taught individuals about your life’s purpose.  It may be quite different than what you think. Most of us want to figure out what are we supposed to be doing with our lives.  What is our value of being on this planet.

When we watch successful individuals, we think, wow they figured it out I wish I could.  I believe financial or career success has nothing to do with living your life’s purpose.

I’ve always believed that what we are truly good at, which could simply be something like being a good parent, a splendid gardener, a good lawyer etc. is not what we are here to learn.  

Many who know me believe I’m a very good medium.  I don’t believe that is that is my life’s purpose.  Our life’s mission is to change what we are “not” good at doing.  What we are good or even great at something isn’t a lesson, but it’s the lessons that comes with what we choose to do in life.

For instance, throughout my entire life the lessons of judgment, abandonment and value have been recurring.  It shows up in many aspects such as what I’ve done for my employment, my psychic medium abilities, whom I married, my belief system and many other choices I have made throughout my life. 

I would like to share a little bit of my story with you.  I was in the corporate world for a time and one of my corporate jobs was in health insurance (crazy! I know) My job was to negotiate with doctors and the medical field and to sell them on signing up for HMO’s and PPO’s. At the time this was absolutely not something the insureds nor the medical community wanted.  I was judged heavily, and many didn’t want to talk to me.  The work I was doing wasn’t being valued on either side. 

After I had my daughter, I could not fathom being away from her every day while someone else was able to see her all day.  It was so difficult for me to have children, I appreciated them so much that I could not bring myself to leave them every day so I made the decision to be home with them and go into childcare to still help pay the bills and be home at the same time.

 I lived in a friendly neighborhood where many are doctors, CEO’s, financial planners, engineers, well you get the idea.  Many wives were able to stay home or also had good paying careers.  I had neighbors that looked down on me and when I shared what I did at the time I was judged by the public as well.   I always believed our children’s safety, wellbeing and the ability to be with them was paramount.  While I was home with my children and providing daycare, I was making a smaller paycheck than those in my community, it wasn’t accepted as significant to those who were paid higher salaries.  

Then fast forward to the discovery of my abilities.   When I discovered that I am a psychic-medium and decided to embrace the fact that I am here to help with those struggling on this earthly plane, I once again have lost family and friends.  I mean it was weird 20 years ago to tell my family and friends that I have the ability to connect with the other side or tune into any soul.  I made a choice to accept all the judgement and abandonment that came my way because I know, see and believe wholeheartedly that when I provide a messages from those who have crossed over,  the healing I see take place for the individuals and families I work with allows me to let go of all feelings surrounding the judgment and abandonment that take place in my life. 

Now to share a bit about my own life lessons on “value”.  Many of us have value as a life lesson.  I have been told by some that I have a “gift” and should do my work for free.  Again, judgment what I can do and how I choose to share my abilities.

These are some small examples on what is in my opinion, a true “Life Lesson” 

One of the biggest Life Lessons that I see with many students and clients is “Receiving” We are taught at a very young age that it’s better to give than receive.  We are told “Don’t be selfish” or “don’t think of just yourself” or “why do you think you deserve this?” 

Sound familiar?

This belief system has caused most of us to “give” all the time while putting ourselves not even on the back burner, but back into the cupboard! 

I have clients that will schedule a session because they are exhausted, they give so much and seem not to be able to find a partner that is as equal in giving.  I call it the “project” versus the “partner”.  Those that are givers and are told that giving is a good thing and can’t seem to stop this pattern not realizing that it creates an energy in the universe of only giving and not receiving.  Until you realize that is it a good thing to also receive you may not receive that abundance you could from the universe.  Learning to receive is a life purpose.  

Simply put, your life purpose is learning how to change things you’re not good at so that life can be a balance.  

Love, Deb