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How Letting Go Of Control (and controlling people)

Spirited Straight Talk Deb Sheppard Episode 15

Could transform your life.

What I have been reminded of lately is how many people want to exert control over everything around them. I was in a medium session a few weeks ago and had a client who would not let go of controlling who came though in the session. This client absolutely refused to acknowledge a loved one that wanted to communicate. They really wanted to control the session and the other side by determining who they would acknowledge.

Think about control, could it be controlling someone, something or an outcome of a situation. Are you in a controlling relationship or are you a controlling person? Are you that person that has to see things or do things a particular way? This could be a relationship, job, experience or really anything in life. Sometimes we think that we know what’s best for us or best for somebody else.

The Universe Has A Bigger Plan

We forget that the universe has a bigger plan and if this is you, then you are really going to miss out on the great things the universe has in store for you. By trying to control everything you are living in fear and fear is also what you are also sending to the universe. It’s a bit like a mirror.

Do you want to be more open too connecting with your guides or loved ones from beyond. This will not happen if you’re not willing to surrender to a process. That means you must let go of controlling the outcome.

Trust The Process

People want to control because they don’t want pain anymore. Or they control because they themselves feel unsafe and are untrusting. Sometimes people control out of fear of something bad happening to their loved ones. A safety concern. Many people that have gone through trauma want to control because of that reason. However, if you really want the universe to open and bring you things, are you willing to be more open? 

There’s a process to being more open. But it’s going through that process where the struggle exists. Most of us don’t want to go through the process. 

Control VS Surrender

How are these two concepts different?  By controlling I mean someone who wants know where you are every second, who you’re talking to, how long you’re going to be somewhere, what are you eating, what you are doing etc. Or if you are doing all those things, are you not trusting yourself or that individual. Why are you having a hard time trusting. Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up your power. Surrendering means trusting a process. 

Are You A Controlling Person?

If you’re in that situation where you are the controller, take accountability and acknowledge what is causing you the desire or need to control? Why aren’t you trusting? Is there something in your past that has created a need to have to control over another person or all situations. Delve into this a little bit more and be honest and authentic with yourself. On the other side, if you’re in a relationship with a controller, why? What need does it fill? 

Does This Come From Fear?

Do you feel as if you’re always under a microscope? If so, then it’s important to ask this question. Is this the best relationship for me? I’m not telling you that you need to make a change, but maybe find your voice. You can be incredibly empowered by finding a way to say “I’m uncomfortable with this” or “this is how this makes me feel”.

Keep in mind, many times, when you find your voice in the beginning, it may be turned around on you. Sometimes you even question yourself. The fact is your intuition is going to tell you when something doesn’t feel right in a relationship, job or whatever the situation. If you are changing who you are to please someone, if you can’t be transparent and authentic and you feel controlled, please sit down and reflect on that.

Be Aware

Awareness is key. Being aware that you’re being controlled or that you are a controlling individual is the first step. Are you trying to control the universe, which we cannot possibly do?

If you want to be intuitive, if you do want that authentic life, if you want to be transparent, what parts of your life are controlled? Is it your thoughts? Your fears?

You can hear more here. Spirited Straight Talk