FEAR to TRUST and FAITH
So many of you are feeling a slew of mixed emotions right now – from fear to full-on panic.
It’s totally understandable -so much uncertainty is in the air.
I want you to know that sometimes what we see as setbacks can actually be opportunities for powerful POSITIVE life changes. I have been in fear and paralyzed by it, I have felt lost and stuck, I have been in the eye of the storm, as I call it. Though sharing some things from my own journey with you I am hoping it helps you to understand that there are divine things happening all around you.
In 1994 and there were two massive hurricanes back-to-back, one in the Carolinas and the other in Hawaii. Unfortunately, the company my late husband worked for insured many properties in both locations, so it took a significant financial hit. The company began to downsize. He lost his VP position with the company. He was given one option, we could move back to the Midwest to continue with the company. We both loved Colorado and the life we were building together here. Moving back to the Midwest to reinvent his career wasn’t an option for either of us.
I soon found out that I was pregnant with our second child. This was extremely difficult, but we were optimistic. Brad and I both believed that we could start a new path with him starting a business. Taking this as a sign to be your own boss—another American dream. He had a master’s degree, tons of experience, was great at statistics, honest and good to others. We had received a payout from the company that provided a good cushion and we had a little money in our retirement that we could use. This turned out to be the wrong decision, it didn’t work out and things got worse.
While expecting our second child, Brad took a temporary job with UPS working nights stocking trucks with packages to be delivered…. a far cry from when he was “the boss.” It was hard work, especially at the age of 42. They provided insurance which was a must for us during this time. I was doing childcare, while pregnant, and he was working nights. In reality, we were barely making ends meet and we barely saw each other. He was ashamed that after his successful career he was working nights packing up trucks. None of our friends knew where he was working or what he was doing, he wanted to keep it hidden. In all honesty, I didn’t care what he did as long as we could provide for our family.
I Was in Fear
He came home after an evening shift one night and he had me sit on the end of our bed. He informed me he had quit his job at UPS. The work felt beneath him, and he couldn’t do it anymore. I remember this as if it were yesterday, my heart sank as my stomach was showing this new life. We were not financially capable of taking care of all our needs, but I didn’t say a word to him. I did not trust his decision anymore and I was beginning to question my feelings. To this day, I’m not sure why I didn’t challenge him, or even question his decision, other than I was in complete shock. We went through all of our savings, refinanced the house enough times that there was no cushion. We filed for bankruptcy and it was one of the most difficult times in our marriage.
My life was chaos and because of all of this, I began looking for answers. I got me answer came and it was not what I expected. My friend Chris was visiting from California. When she arrived, I told her our situation and she mentioned Feng Shui as a way to change the energy surrounding us. I had no idea what she was talking about but decided to be open minded. We went shopping and stopped at the bookstore to find books about Feng Shui so I could learn more.
During this same time, my friend LaVern was working at a psychic fair. She had me see her friend who was a psychic doing readings at the fair. Desperate to hear that we when we were going to get back on our feet once again, I was hungry for information—anything that would reveal a path for us to take. I asked when Brad was going to get that perfect VP job again so our lives could go back to normal. I did not like the answer! She informed me that he was not going to get a job and then, asked me a question I’ll never forget: “Why aren’t you sitting on the other side of this table doing readings for people?” I did not want or need this answer, I left frustrated and confused.
What was the Answer?
I decided to put all my efforts into Feng Shui and changing the energy surrounding us because I thought this was our answer. If I could change the energy around us Brad would get that high powered, high paying job again. The first thing I started doing was cleaning up clutter. I bagged up things of his, I felt he did not need anymore and started carrying the stuff to the trash. While walking outside, I fell down hard and scraped both of my knees. This was a sign I should have recognized but did not learn until later. You don’t take other people’s things without their permission; I didn’t have his permission.
I thought I was “helping” him with his career but did not have his blessing. Boy did I make a mistake here, rarely does this work. I didn’t tell him what I was doing with “his things” and I continued on my crusade. After all, I was feeling as if I was taking steps to get our family back on track and what could it hurt? Feng Shui became pretty easy for me. I could feel the energy and understood how it worked. I even considered becoming a Feng Shui consultant.
Messages from the Other Side
A few days later after I put the children down for nap time, I was cleaning up things and all of the sudden I could feel someone around me. This was not a living person, as I began to understand this, I did not feel scared. It felt like I was in slow motion. Maybe you have been in a car accident where you see what is going on, but there is nothing you can do. It happens so fast, but amazingly you can recall the details. I could feel that it was my friend Susie’s father, who I had never met. In the spur of the moment and without thinking about it I called her and shared all the messages from her father.
Several hours later, I recall thinking “Wow, that was weird.” I began to worry about Susie, I called her back and she was still a little shaken. The only thing I could do was apologize. She said to me “I needed to hear that. My father was a good businessman and he taught my brothers how to run a business, but not me. I would have asked for his help now since I’m learning how to be a business owner.”
Little did I know how dramatically my life would change. This is when the flood gates opened, and I had the afterlife knocking at me constantly. I didn’t know what was happening no was I sure of what to do with this so I went to the library and checked out dozens of books. That’s when I realized I was a medium! The voices kept coming and coming.
The Next Step
There was a medium coming to Denver and I was able to get tickets to attend the event. I had no idea why I decided to attend. We did not have the money and there was really no reason for me to be there. I was a bit upset with myself for making this choice. I went to the car during a break and Brad was in the car listening to a ballgame. We went back to the event. After the event finished, we got back in the car and there was a radio station on called KOSI 101. The DJ had on Sid the Psychic. I asked Brad if he had put this station on and he had not, I know now that my question was being divinely answered. I decided to call the radio station the next day.
The DJ, whose name is Rashke, was open to mediums and had experience with other mediums and she agreed to talk with me. She came to see me to determine if I was the “real deal” and even though I had no idea what I was doing, I shared all the information that I was getting with her. I told her that there was an issue with her car to which she informed me that her car was brand new and just fine and consequently felt like she walked away a bit unimpressed but week later Rashke had a huge issue with her car that was very dangerous. It turns our that I was right, I had trusted the information I was given and Rashke become a believer.
9-11 devistated the country a short time later, and Rashke was trapped in Italy. She called me to tell me that during this time she realized why we met. She asked me to come into the radio station and that evening did 52 readings on and off the air. It was in this moment that I knew my path was to help those in need of healing.
For the past 18 years I have had the privilege of being a messenger for the other side. I have never looked back; I have never again questioned my purpose. If I had not listened to the voices and had I not trusted that I was going to be ok, I would not have chosen this path. I was guided to my higher purpose through the challenges put in front of me during this time. We are sometime forced to a new path out of necessity. I would not have gone down this path had Brad gotten a job as a VP. Let’s face it, we get comfortable in what we think is normal and refuse to make changes. In order to make changes we need to be uncomfortable sometimes.
Eye of the Storm
Right now, the world is going through the Eye of the Storm again. What happens if you choose faith over fear? I challenge you to ask yourself if you can open up the path we are being shown, I believe we are being guided to a higher purpose by our circumstances. Trust that you will be okay and we will find our way together.
Here is the FACEBOOK LIVE Session where we talk about this and more. I hope you watch and then join me again next Wednesday on Facebook at 1pm MST.