If you're having trouble creating what you want, tune in as Deb shares one of the surprisinng blocks to manifesting. Discover what it is and how to finally release it - so you can finally create what you truly desire!Download Now
Welcome to spirited straight talk the podcast to help you thrive with the help of spirit. I'm Deb shepherd,
Psychic medium spiritual
Teacher and author. Each week I bring new
Insights to help you
Heal from loss connect with spirit and turn setbacks and to triumphs. So let's get started.
So Dana, I have a couple of questions to ask you. Are you ready?
Cause you don't know what I'm going to ask. So what if the IRS made a really big mistake and decided that they owed you over a hundred thousand dollars? How would that feel?
Well, it would be crazy. And I would also question it and say, are you sure? Because if I take it and spend it, I don't want to have to pay it back.
Okay. So you went to feeder. Okay. So what if you got a lottery ticket as a gift and you ended up winning 500,000
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Okay. Oh, so this is a difference between the IRS and that there
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Or take the millions and run and see if they can find you right. Change your name. So I've been working with the mentoring groups here for the last year, especially in the solutions group and these women are amazing. And today we had a Q and a to follow up on some things from the first third class. The other week what's amazing is they're really understanding the idea of receiving without guilt. And that's what we're going to talk about today.
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Or they're embracing,
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They're embracing it. They're getting it there, there are they're rock stars right now. And this is been a year of looking at the limiting beliefs that we have, that we get from a very young age. So, you know, we're told as a kid, don't be selfish, just better to give than receive and
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Money. Doesn't grow on
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Mondays and go trees. You have to work hard to get there. All these types of
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Work, hard, work smart and receive a lot
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From the IRS.
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I mean, if they owe me money then yeah.
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Good. Okay. But this is about just learning to receive. So as we've talked about, and what I've taught in these classes is the whole idea of when someone gives you a compliment, what do we say a lot of times, like, I'm like, tell me what. Yeah.
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We're surprised at compliments.
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Yeah. Your hair is really beautiful. Dana.
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A couple of days ago. Do you like it? Yeah.
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But do we also say, oh, we do give an excuse. We just don't say, thank you. I've I've seen this and I've done this. I don't do it anymore as much. But when someone says, oh, really great outfit, and you talk about, you know, where you got it, it's on sale has been, we've had it for a long time, all those kinds of stories. So it creates this idea that we're not allowed to receive, or we pushed back that energy. And so what we're talking about today is how to really receive without guilt and shame, because those are the things that take away. So when someone gives you something is to honor it. So maybe you have a family recipe and you bring it to a gathering in some of those kind of really loves it. And you go, oh, well, I had to kind of improvise today.
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Cause I didn't have all this stuff. Just say, thank you. There's real struggles with that. I think men are better at it than women, but we certainly have that energy. So if you're a person that wants to manifest a lifelong partner, you want to manifest another opportunity for a career or make more money, maybe buy a home, whatever that looks like. It'd be simple as getting, well, it's not simple, but getting your better health or just trying to make transitions easier. What if you want to hear from your loved ones or your guides? Well,
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I better learn to receive good
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Job grasshopper. Yes. And so it all plays in. So as you've heard me talk about over the years is the symbol of the yin and yang, which is the black and white symbol. And it's all about ballot. So if we have the sun too much, we can burn up, we need the moon for tides and all that kind of stuff. So we're designed to be balanced. And the yin and yang means female and masculine or feminine and masculine energy. And I always ask people which ones feminine. And we get the answer of, I'm trying to prompt you. White
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People typically answer that white is
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Feminine, right? Which is not. So the black is feminine because we need to receive to procreate. We're we're designed as women is to have babies. And so we're there and it's born out of the womb, which is darkness. And we are the moons. This is why you see women that are wikis or what other kinds of belief systems are out there celebrating the moon because it's the night is that energy masculine is white because it is the sun. It is that energy of giving. And we cannot procreate without that energy of giving to receive. So if you're a person that's really a giver, you're carrying in a lot of masculine energy and you're not balancing it with receiving. So what's going to happen when you give and giving, giving, giving, give you, get exhausted, you get tired, you get burnt out.
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And generally what can happen if you're not learning to receive, you may get sick. So you have to ask for help. Do you remember the story that I had with a lady that several years ago? And she was just unwilling to balance her receiving. She just wanted to take care of everybody. I said, well, you're going to break a leg and end up having to ask for help. She came back about a year later because she had fallen in the garage and broke both of her legs. She was, I need to learn to receive. Wow. And
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That's a crazy story.
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It is crazy. I mean, I felt really bad that I said that, but what does it take for us to learn, to receive? When can we say no? And we have a lot of guilt to help other people. I wish I yelled. If we don't help other people guilt and shame and guilt and shame drivers, big drivers, and those are low energy vibrations. The other thing that we struggle with as humans, especially women, is if we ask for help, we don't want to bother somebody they're too busy. I don't want to feel weak. I don't want to feel needy, but whole story versus realizing that if you're out of balance, your body's going to feel it things in your life you're going to experience. So if you feel like you're constantly having things taken away because your energy vibration says, I like to give I'm here to give the
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Universe is going to take
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Because that's your, that's your energy. Yes.
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That makes sense.
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So some of the ways, the simple ways to make changes in this is to what we just talked about. When you get a compliment, just say, thank you, asking people for help with things. Even if it's your groceries. Even if it's something very simplistic to learn how to shift that idea, that receiving is okay. Some of the ways is to look at, let's say someone gives up their seat for you. Take the seat. Don't apologize. Don't see you don't need it. This is another chance for someone to give to you so that you can learn the whole energy of receiving. If someone splits a piece of pie in half, are you going to make, let them have the bigger piece while I'm not, but would you
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Give the other person? So someone gives you the bigger piece, take the bigger piece of pie if
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It's given to me, I guess so. Yeah,
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I guess it would look kind of weird. If you cut the Pinedale, I'm getting the bare piece. You need to lose weight.
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How much time do we feel guilty? Like, oh, you give me the bigger piece versus saying, Hey, they gave you the bigger, here's your seat. Here's, you know, let me open the door for you. When those simple things start happening, you want to then really feel it in your heart. You want to say, I am learning to receive. And this is okay. The interesting part about giving is we feel better about ourselves. And we give to another human being, right? What we do in our, in our practices, we're always helping people through hard things. And so it does, it does make us feel better, right? That you made their lives easier, but you don't want to be addicted to that. Don't keep looking for people that have problems. So you can feel better about yourself,
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It's more empowering people. That's better than looking for that person that is in that situation where, oh, I'm going to help you. I'm going to help you. We
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Call that soul sucking.
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Yeah. When you constantly give and then get people that that's all they want, they want, they need, need, need from
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You. And you're going to track that and you're
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Going to attract
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And you keep thinking, what are they keep coming back to me? It's like, well, you started the foundation. You didn't ask for an exchange of energy.
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And the funny thing is when you start to set boundaries, they flip out,
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Get upset. Like
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You have to set those boundaries, right?
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So if you think about creating a balance, you want to be able to have both sides of everything, kind of basically turn out equal. And the only way that can happen is when you take those opportunities to say, it's okay for me to receive. If you're here to learn, to receive a lot of times, you have to get to a really icky place to learn how to receive because you
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Realize it now.
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Yeah. So you don't have to wait.
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Yes. You don't want to break.
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No. And the guilt and shame that we bring up again, if you want to hear from your loved ones in your guys, that guilt and shame is a lower vibration. So if you feel guilty receiving that means it's going to also affect you receiving messages from the other side.
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So I know we're going to talk more, but you put together six simple ways that people can begin. This process begin to learn how to receive. And you'll share those
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In a minute. Absolutely.
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But I think that's great because I think you have to start somewhere
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And how to receive. And I remember in the classes, I bet you're going to save this.
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Without me even knowing what you put down as your, your tips, you in your classes, have people make, you make a point to tell them that the next time they go to the grocery store and get groceries, that their assignment is to let the
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Bagger take their
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Bagger, the bagger.
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And, and so that you, it's
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You teach that in, in one of your classes, you actually instruct them that that's what they need to do for one of their assignments. Let the bagger at the grocery store, take your
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And load them in your car to begin to learn, to receive, which I think makes an impact every time.
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What happens is you realize at that moment, how uncomfortable it is, where this is the person shopping really there after work Mingo, I can't believe she had me back her car or his car. They're probably going to get a break. I get to get out of the store,
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Get some fresh air.
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And so that we worry so much about other people. But when we want to, we feel better helping others. When you don't let them help you. You're taking away that enjoyment for them to feel good about themselves. And I give the example a lot of times when children are five, six, even our grandchildren, they want to help out, let me stir. Let me, let me take out the trash. You know, they're all excited. Of course, when they're,
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Well, we have a two year old granddaughter and the entire time she's like, I'll do it. So that's part of
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Her feeling good, finding her, finding her ego. And we want to support that ego of confidence. So when you take that away from somebody and not letting them help you and going back to the child, letting them help you builds confidence when they get to be 12 or 13, they're not going to want to help you. They're like, no, you know, I'm going to have a high thing and the other room, but it's realizing that really supporting people and giving them the ability to help you is that energy of, Hey, guess what? I helped so-and-so today. I feel so much better. You're actually helping them become more empowered by doing that. Yeah. And so you may think it's a weakness or that you're needy.
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That's not the case. And don't compare you receiving to other people being needy. If you're playing the lottery and you're trying to figure out ways to manifest money, then you better freaking learn how to receive because that's what guilt without guilt. Cause that's
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In the lottery without guilt. Yes.
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And it's also realizing what do you do? Because then if somebody gets a lot of money, then what I hear a lot of which is think is hysterical. If you won the lottery, what would you do? Well, I would take care of my kids. I would donate this money and I'm like, wait a minute. Why are you giving it away right away? Now I'm not saying you can't support your community. What I'm saying is the first thing is giving it away versus, you know what? Yeah, I'm going to enjoy it.
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I go on vacation and go to a new car.
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Maybe I'm going to stuff. A mattress has all my money and sleep on it. But w but people immediately go into, how do we give it away? Because they're worried about judgment of having that much intimate it's judgment again, versus saying, I'm just going to enjoy my life. I've been wanting this and I'm going to have some freedom.
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So I have a question for you. We come into a lot of money. Do we tell everyone, tell anyone,
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Not one person.
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We just didn't maybe our accountant, our investor finance advisor, but really don't
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Want to be shamed
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Because people do well. I can't believe they're not, you know, there there's that energy of judgment from it versus we don't tell people what we make what's in our bank account. So why do we have to tell them about the, the lottery? True. But if you're winning the money and it's big, don't feel immediately to give it away because that's all about guilt and shame with that said, you are also okay to put money into a community, to help them out. If that, if that brings you joy, but don't make that your first thing. If you're learning how to receive
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'cause then how are you going to receive love? Or how are you going to receive abundance in
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Support, no judgment. And you know, we're talking about money a lot, cause it's just an easy way to talk about receiving. But like you said, if you're looking for a life partner, if you're looking for job opportunities, if you're wanting to connect with your guys, it's all the same energy vibration, it's all the same thing. So questioning yourself when you get a compliment, let's say, which is a big deal. I know for you when you're driving in the freeway and someone doesn't let you in, when you have your blinker on, right? The receiving part is learn to receive to say this person's going to let me in. That would be a good test, or I'm going to get those tickets easily for that show or that game. It's about you realizing it doesn't have to be a challenge.
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I just assume that everything's going to come easy. I really do. Like, I that's why I'm, I'm definitely this is going to happen or, you know, whatever
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Got as me. Cause I was easy. No, but it really isn't. But, but when you look at this as, how do you want to do it? Where is your first beginning of your belief system as a child? What were you told about money? What were you told about abundance or being loved? Having a community. Yeah, because even a community that supporting of you is, is receiving. So if you feel alone and you want to create a community, that's about receiving.
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So when I first got into learning this years ago, manifesting and the universe through the secret, the secret
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Little bit about the law of attraction, which you have a new term for law of attraction. I can't wait to hear it.
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Going through all that. I remember that I would have a daily mantra. I would just pick one. I had it a bunch and I would just pick one for the day. And I would carry that with me for the entire day. I would look at that. I
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And, and I, so I would carry that energy. I would carry the energy of money comes easily and freely abundance in love and relationships, whatever it was that I was looking for.
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Well, if you're cause you were in sales too, so it might be abundance of clients. Yeah.
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That's towards money.
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I mean, it can be, it can be all those areas of receiving. I'm going to receive all the phone calls. I need to close my quota for this month, whatever that
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Is, that word.
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Yeah. Cause you're not that anymore because I have a quota for you every month. If you're looking for a house or an automobile or anything in your life, you want to be able to say it comes easily. It doesn't have to have a heart.
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Again. I think they have trouble finding it or relationships or friendships. And so
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That's a community
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Knowing Jen manifests that can create it.
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If you're looking for a relationship and you want to receive, this is really important to know, because if you're a healer caregiver, you're the only, you're always the one taking care of everybody. This is my suggestion. You don't want to have a, you don't want to be a nurse or a purse. You don't want a project. You want a partner. If you're attracting people in your life where you're always taking care of them, that's because you're not balancing the receiving site as well. So you want to be able to say, if I keep attracting people that want to take, and I'm always there giving up and giving my energy and I'm exhausted, that's because you need to learn to receive in other aspects of your life and stop. I always say, stay in your link, quit trying to take care of everybody else.
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Let them, let them find their way to, which is important.
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And to that point, you always teach that if you are constantly fixing everything for everyone, they're taking
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Less, you're going to take away their opportunities. That's the big thing is just changing that mindset. There are people that we can help and we do want to be part of that community. And we do want to be able to give, but that's not the only purpose we're here. We are here to create that balance. That's the energy. That's the intention people want to start and you can even start thinking, how am I learning to receive today? What am I going to receive today? How can I understand this? So some of the things we've talked about is how do you get these things? How do you shift that? Thinking, first of all, is if you get a compliment, don't show them the stain and where you bought it. You've had it for a long time. It was the only thing that was great. It was on sale. It was the only thing in my closet that was clean.
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So these are the easy ways to re, to start, to realize how to receive,
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Say, thank you.
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To say, thank you to when someone opens the door or allows you to be served before them, what do you say?
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Thank you. Yeah.
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Can you imagine that? Just open the doors to the few little, yeah, I can do that, but I've also seen people struggle. Let's see if I open the door for a man, he may then feel like he needs to take that role. So I understand that energy, but a lot of times we feel like we needed the help that person versus
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Just saying, thank you. And receiving, if
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You think about little kids.
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Yeah. All you're
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Doing, showing your attitude. I love it. When there's like a five-year-old little boy at the door and you're at a restaurant or a store that you opened the door feeling so proud, realizing again, that they're feeling like a grownup. So honor that too. And I think people do, but again, that's another opportunity to receive.
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If you're given a bigger piece of a pie, we talked about earlier, the better seat, the last French fry. Now that's mine.
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I'll give you the last French fry.
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Thank you all receive. Especially if they're still warm again. It's it's not being selfish. It's okay. When someone says, I want you to have that just like you would do for somebody else except the French fries for me. But everything else is when someone does that, that's going to make them feel better that day. It's going to know that they did it. They made you feel happier
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That they did something for
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You. Yeah. Let them have that opportunity to feel good about themselves.
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If we would all walk around with that energy,
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Just being in gratitude for what you're receiving.
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Versus always feeling like you're, you're supposed to draw of the
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Energy. And I think a lot of your
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Just filling your bucket. I think for some people, when they don't receive, as they're feeling, they're not enough.
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Yeah. I think that's a big
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One. You know, the feeling of I'm not enough. So I need to give, and you know, I've been taught that the more you give, the more you receive well, that doesn't ever work. Cause I haven't seen it. I've always seen, it becomes out of balance and your, your aisles, the spirals. So it's really saying I'm allowed to give, but I'm also allowed to receive, I have permission. And if you keep saying, if I could just win the lottery, if I could just find that soulmate or right. But you can't take a compliment, you have to rethink your belief system.
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Yeah. I agree. And just give me the last fry. I agree. Cause I've learned, I've received my lesson.
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One of the big things I've talked about for years
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And years and years
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Is when someone takes you out to eat for dinner or lunch or whatever that breakfast, I don't care. And when you're sitting there, you're, you're like excited that someone's taking you out because maybe there's a good reason. Or maybe they just want to do this. And then you look at the menu and think about, well, what, what costs this is? What's the price. You know? I don't want them to overspend. I don't want to think that I'm greedy or selfish. And then maybe you don't even order a drink. You just say, I'll just have water.
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You don't know what they have in their pocket book.
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Right. Is that what you want other people to actually, when I treat people out, I want them to take the cheaper one. No, just kidding. But if you're really, that person is really giving to you. They want you to have it. And so someone
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Else I want you to have
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What you want it.
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I want to treat you
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Right. Don't say you'll pick up the tip. Don't say I'll buy it next time. Say thank you. And that's a hard one to do because you know, we feel like I need to return it. You
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Feel like you're taking advantage of
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Somebody, even though they're offering,
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They want to give to you,
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Let them feel good about it. If you feel like you want to pay forward, then find another opportunity to do that. You don't have to do it with the individual that just gave to you because it kind of takes out,
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Takes away their power.
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Yeah. And will it takes with this? They, you know, they enjoyed doing this for you and you just said, oh, but mine's better.
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I know better.
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You know what you can give to me, but I have to give back and I have to have the equal exchange. There are times when that's necessary, but generally speaking, if someone wants to take you out, then just receive it, take it. And I think you talked earlier about the taking the groceries out. And I, I remember talking to the students, they're like, well, I want a bag in my way. And I don't want them to feel like I can't do it. And all these limiting beliefs that we go through, which is really wrapped around our limiting belief, that we feel that we can do it all on our own. If you are doing everything on your own and you have no help and you're feeling as you're exhausted, then you're manifesting exactly what you're believing.
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And to me, it's like, you don't get to complain until you make a change. The whole thing about giving in a lot of aspects, it does make you feel better or spiritual DNA and human DNA is designed to be able to support those that struggle. So when we think that someone's giving something to us, we may be thinking or projecting. I wonder if they think I'm struggling or having a hard time. Well, what if you are, Who cares? They want to give the gift. They want to be able to make your life easier. They just want, they just feel like, I really think that this would be great for you. And even if you don't like the gift, I mean there's times you're like, Ooh,
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Or just, just in gratitude receive it, it someone. And the more that you start noticing that that's when these little things started happening, where someone buys you your coffee or you're in line and someone else opens up another line. So you're first in line. So you get to get out quicker. All these little things start showing up.
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Yeah. And we see this over and over and over again, as you teach, you're mentoring students in the solution program, we see it over it. But as you start to have them do really practice manifesting, it starts to happen. And they're like, oh my gosh, shit work.
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Well. That's what someone was saying today. She goes, you better be careful because this does work. And that's the excitement that you can see. The thing shifts so quickly. It's pretty amazing. Cause you know, we've been studying, I've been studying for over two decades, you know, funkshway and energy and how these things work. And it does work. If you're having a hard time right now, manifesting what you desire. Then look at your limiting belief when it comes to receiving bottom line, write down what you believe, what write down what you were told and people think, well, I don't really believe that anymore, but if you're not receiving, then there's still something in there.
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That's the residue or energy around it. And we can make it easier for sure to go along with this, write down your limiting belief, start looking at what you want to manifest, taking opportunities every day and even writing them down or taking note about learning to receive. And for some reason I'm even getting this idea. Like if you want to win money on the radio, you've got to learn how to receive. You know, if you want to be able to get that free item learned to receive, if you want that promotion or that even recognition about your job and what you're doing, you want to be able to receive. And it's okay.
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It doesn't mean that you have a strong ego. It means that you've worked hard to be able to create the balance. But I also teach a lot of, is the ego is really important to have a lot of people in this type of belief system. I feel like the ego is bad to me. The ego helps me get on a podcast or radio or TV or whatever, to be able to do the work that I do. And part of that is it's okay to receive. It doesn't mean I'm better than somebody else. It just a creation of a balance of our universe,
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Ego, healthy ego,
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Ego, not an imbalanced
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I'm better than everybody else. Or I healthy,
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And I don't call this a gift because I believe it's an ability and that's the balance of the ego, but you and I like to give back to the community, but we also learn to receive the clients, the students, all that so that we can take care of ourselves right. In a healthy way. So what I'm going to encourage everyone to do is really start thinking about what they want to manifest. Why are they being blocked? And what is that layer of? I can't just ask for help or where's my guilt. If I get a compliment, even when we talked about winning the lottery, don't have any guilt. Why do you have to immediately decide it goes to everybody else? Just embrace it for a little while.
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Yeah. So thank you for joining us once again, on fair to straight talk, follow us as much as you can on our website and download our free dream interpretation. So thank you again. Thank you for listening to today's episode. I hope it inspired you. If you enjoyed our conversation, make sure you subscribe so that you get notified of new episodes and let's get connected. Visit Deb shepherd.com for more insights, support workshops and a book, a session with me. And finally, always remember your loved ones in spirit or just a thought away, even though they're on the other side, they're always by your side.