The Other Side: Connecting with Your Loved Ones

Your loved ones in spirit are waiting to reconnect with you! Deb talks about mediumship and how you can get more messages and signs from your loved ones & guides.

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Two spirited straight talk, the ultimate podcast for anyone who is ready to live a life with intention and help from spirit. I am your host of shepherd, spiritual teacher, medium and author. I also love the outdoors. I love her for babies. I’m a wine enthusiast for sure. And a mom to three kids and two wonderful grandchildren. I also love to demystify the spirit world and help you think outside of the box, helping you open up to the whole enchilada or like, we like to say The Soul Enchilada, so you can truly make your soul rise. So let’s go.

The Purpose for people to seek out the services of a medium is to know that their loved ones are around and that they still see what’s happening and that they’re doing okay. But for me as well is after you’ve had a session, especially is to have your own relationship with your loved ones who’ve crossed over and to make that connection. And it’s, it’s often like, well, how do I do that? How do I know it’s them? And how do I trust it? So I think what we’re going to talk about then is how do you, how do you know your loved ones around, how do you find those signs? And what’s interesting, as I was putting some thoughts together about this, I was on some social media and a friend of mine, Dave, who’s lost a couple children and had posted about the Vietnam vets and how they’ve served and how we should really respect them.

1 (1m 38s):
And what came up was another person that had been of service and his name was Robert Nelson. And Robert Nelson is not related to me the one on Facebook, but I have a cousin that died close to 20 years ago and him and I were like brother and sister. So it, it was letting me know that there’s a message from, from my loved ones. And along with that, there was a date on there with August 11th, which is the birthday of my deceased husband. And the jacket this man was wearing is used for the air force, the shiny green, I, both my husband and my father-in-law, which are both deceased wear that same jacket. And it was like, so all three.

1 (2m 21s):
And I was just like, this is how we pay attention. And I haven’t had a site like that and sometime, but I thought it was fascinating as I’m teaching this, I’ve been teaching it for years. But now on this podcast that, that just randomly, which is the laugh showed up. And I sent a picture of this, the social media post incident to my aunt and uncle, which is one that lost their son. And they were, you know, they really appreciated that. So it’s, it’s interesting to have, we have to learn to be open to hearing from our loved ones. And again, in all different ways, all ways that was very

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Random. Yeah.

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which we’ll talk about. So for them to show up at that moment in a Facebook post, when I’m,

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How you’re planning your podcast. Yeah. I’m writing down the notes, how well we want to cover. So it was a great help.

1 (3m 16s):
Well, and I think it’s realizing that if they use your imagination, they use these parts and I just love these three people. And so for it to come through, like that was a very divine moment. That’s very

2 (3m 30s):
Cool. Yeah. And so

1 (3m 33s):
I want to talk about a few things about being a medium. Now people ask the difference between a psychic and a medium, all mediums are psychic, but not all psychics are meeting. It’s just a different kind of energy. It’s, it’s sort of like going to a specialist and sometimes a specialist can do more than one thing, or they just are directed to one thing and you may be very intuitive. But what you want to do is open up to feeling your loved ones, including your animals. So what do you,

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What are your,

1 (4m 3s):
Your you’re considered obviously considered a psychic media, correct? But you do so many different things. So your abilities are, yeah. I can’t do a lot of things in life.

2 (4m 17s):
I drive a car. Yeah.

1 (4m 18s):
The checkbook, but I can go into past lives and your life’s contracts and yeah. Akashic records. So those abilities I’m able to kind of change my energy vibration depending on what the needs are. So connecting with guides, connecting with loved ones, but you also help people navigate current life situations and you connect to any soul living are cross correct. Including animals. So, yeah. Which is cool. Yes. I just want, since you brought up

2 (4m 48s):
Immediately, I just wanted to talk about like everything, I think mediums have

1 (4m 52s):
Different abilities. Correct. And you have all of your clairs. We haven’t talked about what your abilities are really well, we will do that, but I think we’ll talk. I think we should. Yeah, absolutely. So it’s all about energy. And one of the things I talk about to teach people is it’s a frequency like where you are. And, and we all know that we’ve met people that just drain us and other people that just really bring our souls up. And energy-wise, and I compare it to like when you’re driving in the mountains, which we’re near, you know, we’re in Colorado. So the mountains are near. When you go to a certain level or frequency, you lose the radio station. So it’s the same thing. Again, you’re trying to connect to a frequency of energy and it’s keeping sort of your energy in that space.

1 (5m 36s):
So for a media and we have no guilt or shame or fear of your love when that’s come through, that’s all personal. Does that make sense? So it was, I’m doing a reading. I don’t have, let’s say the family baggage, you know? And so for people to raise their vibration, to connect with their loved one, if they carry all that stuff, it’s harder for them to raise their vibration all about just energy. It’s just understanding how you feel when you walk into a room. And as you know, when I started doing this, I learned function twice. So it’s, how do you feel in the room? How do you feel with the person? You know, if your back is towards somebody, how does that make you feel when you hear music, different kinds of music, you have a different energy vibration for me.

1 (6m 16s):
When I think about this, I would think about, have situations where I’ve stood in a room and felt somebody staring at me. Correct. And they’re staring at me, I’m feeling their energy. Correct. So you’re saying that it’s, it’s the same type of feeling for you to connect with somebody whose loved one, correct. You’re just, you’re tapping into their energy and they’re, they’re connecting with yours again. There’s not of that judgment in my brain about their situation, you know? So it’s just a critical vessel. I’m very open. Like this is what comes through. So I think it’s having people understand that.

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What we need to do is understand how they’re going to come through. You know, they may come through in dreams. So if you have a dream of this, loved one coming through, it can be considered a visitation if they come through. And it’s very clear, it’s very short. They look really happy. Matter of fact, talking to your sisters or the day of having a visitation from uncle or someone like that. And it’s usually very, very short. Now, if the dream is disturbing and they’re sad and the loved one, doesn’t look happy. That’s your grief. You’re still processing your grief. They will only come through positively when it’s them. And so the other parts of it, and also if there, it becomes through to somebody else and not to you, you may think why it might be because they have different energy around the loss.

1 (7m 42s):
So they’re just trying to make an effort to connect with you. And it might be third party. Right? So, and I know you always mentioned to, you we’ll ask a lot. If people are asking, why haven’t they come to me in my dreams, one of your first questions, or one of the first things you connect with is if they’re sleeping well or not, because if they’re not sleeping well, correct. And they’re not going into that REM sleep cycle, your loved one really can can’t connect with your energy on that subconscious level. Absolutely. And for a lot of people, who’ve had a loss. They may be taking meds to help them sleep, which there’s nothing wrong with what’s doing, but it might block the level of coming through.

1 (8m 25s):
Don’t stop taking the meds if you need them as well, if you need them, you know, just because you want to connect, there’s other ways to connect with them. But for people that don’t go into REM sleep, they’re going to have a hard time to have that connection. So just how the body and the energy works. Got it. I don’t make riding. We were talking about this. And when I have done a lot of things, like the sacred contracts, it was done through automatic writing or things I got about what to teach and how to help people through their journeys, through automatic writing. And I know you just looked up some stuff about automatic writing. Do you want to share really? I just wanted to understand more about how you did it because we know you’re channeling the information.

1 (9m 7s):
And I think it’s very easy for you to do. And it’s a subconscious thing for you. But for me, it’s like, what is the first step in doing automatic writing? It’s not automatic for me. Correct. Which I think for a lot of people, it might not be automatic for you. You’re just channeling this info and your guides are talking to you and you’re like, it’s easy for you. For me. It’s like,

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Okay, sit down, pen and paper, clear your mind. Step number two,

1 (9m 42s):
Hard for people to do. But what I was reading about automatic writing is it’s, you know, making a space for it. That’s quiet, quiet space. You know, if, if you like meditation music, put meditation music on, it’s really kind of allowing your mind to go on the journey and not really thinking about the words you’re writing, but allowing the words to flow and just writing down whatever your thoughts are without worrying about punctuation, not worrying about whether you use spelling, spelling, you just write what you’ve done. I’ve watched you do this actually in the middle of the night, you’ll wake up a few times.

1 (10m 25s):
You’ve done this w you know, one o’clock in the morning with the last time was with a child talking to you and the child was coming through and it was missing. That was, yeah, it’s a child that’s missing. And this child wanted to be found. And you started just automatic writing, whatever this child was sharing with you, you wrote down a ton of information, which we then gave to the find the find me group. It’s an organization where they help people find or find seeing children, seeing children and people, as well as unsolved murders, which you donate your time to them. So it’s just for you.

1 (11m 5s):
I know it just, it flows. And so, but finding white space music, without words, music, without words is a key. So even if your loved one had their favorite music, you know, if it’s comfortable for you play their music, just make sure it’s music without the words. No. Gotcha. Because that might help you make a connection as well. And then think about that, loved one. And then just write down whatever comes to mind and you feel like it use your imagination. That’s where they tap into. So if you’re a really analytical person where everything has to be really perfect, or you have to have purpose for it, it’s going to be harder. You really have to be kind of on the other side of your brain and just let it flow without trying to control it.

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That’s a problem for me.

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That’s why Dana handles the analytical things

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And I’m out there. The other thing is paying attention. I think we all get so busy and you know, now there’s a lot going on in our world and in our country. And so sometimes we get a lot of distractions and paying attention means the subtle things that show up. You know, we have subtle things that happened in our home all the time. One time, this was not settled. My done readings that day. And Dan and I were in the car, of course, Dan is driving. And all of a sudden the radio station just kept changing to a Mexican station. Yeah, that’s right. We would change it back. And it would go back again. Then minutes later it would go back to the Spanish speaking station and we were laughing.

1 (12m 37s):
Well, Dana’s heritage is Spanish. And a lot of her relatives are, and they spoke Spanish. So we were laughing. I even did it because it was like, cause they love electronics. And I know it was your family and we weren’t too far from where they originally lived. Right. That’s coming to mind. So it’s a way of saying hello and certainly in their, their language. But those are the things that it never scares me. Like I’ve always told Dana that living scare me more than the disease that they’re there to kind of say hello. And in a lot of times, I’m sorry, but there is a scary one. There are scary ones that later we should share that story too. Sometimes it’s in your face, but I would say 99% of the signs we get, it’s very subtle.

1 (13m 21s):
Yeah. That I’ve seen. Yeah. And you really that’s what we’re when people think, am I making this stuff up? If you keep seeing this random stuff happening over and over and over, like I find a lot of pennies as Dana knows. And I have friends that find quarters or dimes and things like that. So if you constantly are getting those pennies, it is signed. So not every single penny is going to be a sign, but it will be assigned that because it’s, it’s happening really often all the time around your life. And I often could be once a month when we don’t see us every day. And I think the other thing is not to demand or expect to sign every single day. I mean, they do have things to do. And you know, you can’t control the spirit world. You know, people want to control that.

1 (14m 3s):
So numbers are a big one, too, lots of numbers. And you’ll see them repetitively come through. And a lot of times it’s their age or their date of birth or their sports number or something that was important to them. And you’ll look at the clock or you we’ve even gotten the bill or at the deli, we got our number to have the same number each time. And we just kind of crack up like really? Yeah. So those consistency can really show that they’re around us. I have a feeling like there’s someone in here right now, really all of a sudden, it’s like, I’m breathing a little heavy. So if you have guilt or use the, say your belief system is fearful about connecting with the other side, that will affect your ability to connect with your loved ones.

1 (14m 49s):
So, you know, I never want anyone to change their beliefs or things like that, but you really want to look at, do you feel okay making this connection? And we had a lady the other day that was fearful of coming. And when we grew up that’s right. And she came last minute and she was really worried about her faith that God would not approve of this. But in my, my opinion, she had lost a daughter very young. And why wouldn’t God want you to hear from your child? I mean, whatever that belief, I would never change anyone or that’s not my intention, but if that’s part of your energy, fear-based airbase, it will keep you from really hearing the sign yourself, yourself, not me, but yourself.

1 (15m 31s):
Yeah. She got lots of great messages. She was funny every two minutes. Oh my God. She was really adorable. And you know that, which was very cool. And again, what we always say is you have to use your imagination because they don’t come literally in that analytical way. And if you are very controlling or OCT or very left brain, it’s going to be harder to kind of feel those connections. And you know, Dana has, has a lot of left brain, but she feels, I don’t. I mean, I see signs, but I can’t say that. I feel like what you feel. I don’t know, but you will get a hit so left brain, but she will get a hit. Like, this is what I’m feeling.

1 (16m 12s):
And this is what I mean. So she gets it more than she is saying, Oh, it’s just not like me. It’s not because I’m practicing. I’ve been doing this for a long time. So you’re introduced to it. So you, you feel it around, I, I do feel, but I’m not a medium. I know that for sure. Which I think that’s different. Like, yeah, the average person out there is not a medium, but they’re going to feel it, but they may still be able to feel their loved one or, or get a message or they pop into your brain. Like you say, all of a sudden randomly, and that’s them saying, hello? Electronics is the best. They love messing with electronics, your lights, the music, whatever, just their computers.

1 (16m 53s):
You know, as you know, people say, get away from me after I, especially I’ve been doing readings because I can affect their electronics. So whenever I’m doing readings, especially when a young male has passed, sometimes it takes us an extra 15 minutes to get everything going because they computer messing with us. So that’s always fun. That’s always fun taking this job. She’s trying to do the technical stuff. So how do you raise your vibration or energy? And I think the hardest thing for people that are grieving is to bring joy to their life again and remembering this person and the great times they had. And there’s a lot of guilt. If they have joy and laughter and fun, if they’re grieving and I will tell you, 100%, your loved one wants you to have those things.

1 (17m 39s):
They want you to celebrate life. They want you to celebrate holidays. They want you to be excited about the new baby or the marriage or the, you know, graduation, all those kinds of things, the new home, the more that you can kind of bring that joy, that energy vibration it’s going to help you connect more with them. And it’s really hard because it’s almost forcing you to kind of release some of the pain of the grief, the loss. And you know, you don’t have to go around being this happy-go-lucky person, but you can sit with people or sit with yourself and bring out photos and remember them, or do something that you used to love. Maybe it’s their favorite TV show or theirs, their favorite sports team, or they love dancing or art or whatever it is that they loved their favorite meal, even cooking their favorite meal, doing those kinds of maybe just bringing a joyous memory, absolutely

2 (18m 33s):
Feel that so that you are raising your vibration.

1 (18m 36s):
They’ll jump on you. There’ll be right there trying to connect. It’s a great way. The more that you can bring that level of happiness is going to really help. Some of the ways is being outdoors. I think when we’re at home so much, we look at our list of things to do, you know, what has to be done? What bills have to be paid. Do we have to do the dishes? Is laundry done. What’s up for next, you know, the next couple of days. So being in mother nature, being outside, whether it’s swimming, fishing, walking, riding your bike, which we’re getting more involved in is too. That’s a great way, because you can look at the birds. You can look at what’s out there in nature, which we’ll call to you as well. And it helps your heart.

1 (19m 17s):
As mother earth is very strong. She’s there to help you heal.

2 (19m 21s):
You can make that connection. What do you think? Some of the biggest signs that people we know there’s typical ones like butterflies, dragonflies, right? But we talk a lot about noticing the animals around you and that they’re messengers.

1 (19m 43s):
So native Americans are a lot of cultures. Believe that animals are messengers. There is a spiritual meaning to animals. So if you randomly are outdoors, which we’ve seen happen, where a snake just comes across the path, or you see the deer or you see a Fox or something by Googling that information and saying, you know what, what’s the spiritual meaning normally will be a message from your loved one or your spirit guides. Because connecting with your love with your spirit guides can go hand in hand by again, raising that energy

2 (20m 15s):
Vibration so you can connect with both of them. So we’ve talked about if you’re not in a space where you can connect with your own, that sometimes the universe or spirit will show you these things to communicate with you because you’re not doing it the other way. Correct. So putting an animal in your path. I remember I was on a run a little while back and I ran right across a snake, which we looked up later and we’re trying figure out, you know,

1 (20m 48s):
Why, what the spiritual meaning was recognizing when things like that cross your path and even insects. I mean, I remember we were at the park and a huge beetle rocking across our path and beetles are, you know, they’ve been around for thousands of years, hang in there. So, you know, these are messages from the universe that say, Hey, pay attention. And they’re usually unusual things that you’re going to see, something that isn’t more in five years, we have never had a praying mantis in our backyard. And I was mowing and praying mantis was walking across the grass. So of course I picked him up and he tried to attack me.

1 (21m 31s):
He was like, why are you touching me? So I put them on the trees, but never have we seen a praying mantis in our backyard. So, and we Googled it. And that was, that had a spiritual meaning at the time for what was going on in our lives, which is, was the universe’s way of saying, Hey, now wake up. And you know, and I ended up, that’s the thing about not being so busy and being that present moment is looking at things that are around you. When someone says something, if someone that looks like your loved one that happens a lot, or you hear someone’s calling somebody like by the same name of your loved one, those can all be hellos.

1 (22m 12s):
You know, from the other side, like Robert showing up on your Facebook just got chills. Yeah. Robert, before he died, I was just learning to get on this path and human, who we grew up together. So we weren’t your typical cousins we’d go. I didn’t know that. So you were just delving into your abilities and he had already been, he was sick before he died. So he’d had done a lot of research. And after he passed, his parents gave me a lot of his spiritual books. So he had already been really involved. He was ahead of me, even though he was younger than I was. And I’m sure, I think that when you face those types of things in your life, you’re really searching for answers, which is what I did when I was going through those transitions is okay, there’s gotta be something more, there’s gotta be something different.

1 (22m 54s):
So you began to search that what you’re doing, isn’t working. So what else is out there? And I think when we get really busy or we’re in grief, or we’re distracted, we don’t get to see the signs from the universe. And the universe is talking to us all the time. You know, sometimes Dana and I will start laughing like, Oh my goodness. And especially when you’re around somebody that’s open to that. It really helps to, to allow that universe and your loved ones to communicate. If you’re with people that this is not something they are accepting unacceptable, you can’t talk about it. Maybe be more difficult because you don’t have an open line of communication with those around you.

1 (23m 35s):
You know, the closet, people that do it. So find your community. Yeah. Find your community, which is us. You’re here with us. So we support you. And if I look back in my life, I would have never imagined doing this and connecting with others side. I was taught that when you dead, you were dead. And so for me to do this really has changed how I see the afterlife in life here on this planet. So I want to give just some brief tips, kind of talked about it, but I want to kind of make it simple for everybody and discuss like, how can you, how can you start feeling your loved ones around you? You never want it. You know how much I love humor.

1 (24m 15s):
And I’m always showing Dana dad jokes, which is not really humor, but see, it didn’t make her laugh. I was raised with a mother that loved humor. And so it’s really difficult to find that time in our lives when we’re grieving to find humor. But I highly encourage because at the end of the day, that humor is going to raise your consciousness and your vibration to hear from them. And they want you. They really want you to have that joy again, they don’t want your life to stop because they’re vibrating at a higher, higher consciousness. And so you’re saying that bringing in humor laughter raises yours. It’s raising it to try to meet them to understand that they’re not in a body form, they’re in a spirit form.

1 (24m 56s):
So they don’t have all the things that we deal with as hearing is our baggage. And so for them, that’s called a higher vibration for us. We’re carrying all the things that we’re learning, all the things that we’re doing. Just think of yourself as carrying a bunch of luggage. And sometimes it’s putting that luggage aside so that you can raise that vibration to connect with them. Again, we talked about this being present. It’s amazing how many of us are so distracted? And I call it squirrel. You know, that movie where the dog had been distracted, watching the swirl and we get like that. We are in a society that there is so much going on. You’re between social media and everything being on our phone and being busy and trying to take care of our family and ourselves.

1 (25m 40s):
I think that everything’s on demand on demand. I always have so much to do. Yeah. And you know, I look back in my life and growing up until what we are today, which I think it’s great with technology, but it also, it forces us to kind of always be distracted. And so sometimes putting all that stuff down in the moment, meditation people find that it’s really hard. And as I’ve taught over the years is the people that truly meditate in the yoga position, doing the omen are monks that have no children, no spouse, no job and no stress. That’s all they do. So they can go into that deep meditation. And I can go into deep meditation because it will use a practicing that energy, but find an easy way to love to cook.

1 (26m 24s):
If you love laughing with your children or grandchildren, Howard, and we have those kinds of books now that the dollars that people can do. Yeah. Listening to the music or drumming again, exercise, exercise me. That’s always been good meditation or planting. I think having my hands in the dirt that’s missed now, she has a greenhouse for the it’s for supporting my hands. One of her great habits for me, this is really odd. But one of my best meditations is when I’m blow, drying my hair and Dana and people think it’s really weird, but I’m, I don’t have my phone or my computer. I’m kind of thinking.

2 (27m 1s):
So I get a lot of revelations in the shower for some reason, you know, it was quick five, 10 minute shower, but I still I’m going getting information. Yeah.

1 (27m 13s):
Sometimes your, your mind is probably not going to go quiet. So if you try to not hear anything really it’s about being present and loving that come through you like you’re channeling like the automatic writing, you’re just not writing. So if you’re trying to hear nothing, that’s probably not going to happen unless you’re a Buddhist monk. Yeah. Yeah. So just remember that stuff is still going to go on in your head. The other thing is don’t be attached to the outcome. This is the biggest thing I’ve taught over the years is we get really attached to how the results should be like what you want to hear from them and what you want to see from them. And I remember when I first started this journey before I was attached to my late husband, finding that career again, and the psychic said to me, he’s not going to find the job again, but why aren’t you behind this desk and readings?

1 (28m 1s):
And I thought she was crazy. So for me, it was letting go of what I perceived as happiness and what I should be learning and really opening yourself up to better things happening than what you expected. And I think people want to have it a certain way. They want to hear their loved ones a certain way. They want to hear their guides a certain way. It’s like, you know what? It’s not working the way you’re demanding. So detach from that allow be more open. And that’s how it’s really going to manifest your with the more that you just let it kind of flow and kind of dance to the energy. You’re going to be very blessed with what you hear and see and all those

2 (28m 40s):
Kind of things. But having an intention is different than asking for a specific outcome, but having an attention and manifesting is different than what.

1 (28m 55s):
And may I really want to know that my loved ones, okay, that’s an intention, but it’s not a demand, a haircut in a particular way. Gotcha. So it’s, you know, maybe someone has that dream that says they came to me and they were looking so happy. That would be that you got the message. Maybe just not the way you desired it, like through you. And I think it’s being patient. I think if you’re just beginning to learn some of these skills, give it time, I’m learning how to ride a bike. Again, everyone says I used to get back on, but no, there does take skills to get back into learning something new and not thinking. And when you know that it has to happen a certain way. And when you come to a meeting like myself, you know, we’re pretty tapped in or for me.

1 (29m 39s):
And I just give a ton of it may not happen like that for you. Right. You’re, you’re connected to the other side, right. You know how to get to the veil that quickly and, and connect with those energies. And then I tell you too, is I know how to turn it off. And people ask me all the time, like, are you on all the time? And you don’t want to be in that vibration all the time. And you’re still here to be a human. So as you go through this piece of learning, how to connect, making sure that you still have your human experiences, because you’ll be surprised that as you raise your consciousness and your vibration through joy being present and all those things, your personal life will get a little easier.

1 (30m 21s):
And they’re going to show up with you not trying. So it’s kind of that dance that you want to do. I’ve always wanted others to feel their loved ones versus going to a medium, but a medium certainly shows you that it’s possible. And it’s true. And I’m always blessed to be the messenger. So what sort of so the soul enchilada would be patient with yourself and them. Yeah. Cause you can’t force it and locks. Yeah. I have a glass of wine or just listen to some good music, listen to humor, bring out the photos and really celebrate their life.

2 (31m 6s):
Thank you for joining us for this episode of spirited. Straight talk. If you enjoy the show, make sure you subscribe. So you get notified of new shows. We’d also love it. If you’d leave us a review and let’s connect, visit Deb shepherd.com for more insights support workshops, and to book a session with Deb plus enter to get a free reading with Deb. All you have to do is sign up for the email list and you’ll automatically be entered. Just go to Deb shepherd.com. That’s D E V S H E P P a R d.com.

2 (31m 44s):