empath Archives - Deb Sheppard

Authenticity and Judgement

To be authentic means there is a chance you will be judged, sometimes harshly.

As a spiritual teacher, for 20 years I have taught and still teach that being authentic and vulnerable takes courage.  In my belief system, being vulnerable does not mean you are weak, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to share your story and to be the authentic you.  

Be authentic to your soul.

I also teach the true meaning of unconditional love.  When I ask student what “unconditional love” means I get many different definitions. Some say-it is to love someone no matter what they do, to accept your loved one as they are. My favorite is their dog gives them unconditional love and that is how they know what it is. These are all true but this is my definition- being authentic to your soul and allow others to love you the only way they can.  Can they accept that you are not like them and don’t think like them? Is judgement the only way they can love you?

What we are taught is too project a version of ourselves in attempt to have others accept us.  Meaning, they love the person they want you to be because that is what you project.  Their beliefs, their religion, their ideas.  They are not loving you, they are loving what you are doing for them or showing them.  It validates them and tells them that they are doing the right thing for their own life.  Sometimes you will even compromise your own authenticity to be accepted.  This is when we begin to lose who we truly are and then wonder why things are not going the direction we desire.

During this time we are dealing with so much unrest, the pandemic, social divisiveness, and like me, you may see that there are so many perspectives out there. This is the way it should be, we are not all standing for the same thing, we will look at things differently.

I upset the apple cart.

I want to share my story with you in hopes that this may help some of you during this time.  This past week on my personal social media page, I proposed a question. It was meant to be thought provoking and to truly gain some understanding for myself.   Many people have told me that they don’t post political or religious topics on social media, because they get push back and I did it anyway. I upset the apple cart and walked away from the conversation hurt by the very personal attack.

It took me sometime to begin to process this ordeal. I was feeling as if everything I stood for was being deeply criticized by a friend.  It was very raw and I am sensitive, I feel others emotion’s and would never intentionally hurt anyone.  

Do you want to be on an island?

My wonderful partner, Dana felt for me and we had been talking about this as she was helping me process.   She came in from the yard and said to me, “I have been thinking about this, do you want to be an island, or do you want to be vulnerable, you are a spiritual teacher and you will be judged?”  

This is what I believe and teach, so this is my time to walk it.  We have a duty to speak out when we don’t agree with things in our world.

Why are some people so afraid of understanding those that are not like them? We each have our own perspective but our experience is ALWAYS different that someone else’s.   I believe that by looking beyond our own circumstances to see another persons point of view we can create the balance we all need right now.  

My Promise.

This experience taught me and as I start my new podcast next month, I promise to always be transparent, authentic and vulnerable.  I will have judgement, I am sure of it, but as a spiritual teacher, I can’t sit and do nothing when I can use my voice for good.  We can open our eyes and we can see the authenticity of what is happening in our world.    

Please provide your insight into our current situation.  I really want to hear from you. Share with me some things you would like me to talk about on the podcast. I will choose one of you for a reading with me.  

Let’s be authentic and transparent to create the change.

Are You a Highly Sensitive Soul?

Are you a Highly Sensitive Soul?

I remember when I was a child, I was often teased for being too sensitive.  I could feel the emotions of others and felt my own very deeply.   Even as an adult, I have been teased or criticized for being too sensitive.  Well guess what, after realizing why I am so sensitive it all made sense.  I am an empath, I’m able to feel the energy of others, those that have crossed over and those still here on this planet.    

All of my senses become heightened when I’m doing readings.  I can feel, see, hear, taste and even smell things to interpret messages from beyond.  In addition, it is very easy for me to be in a room and have a feeling or sense everything around me.   I don’t even need to be in the same room as someone to sense and know things.  I have clients all over the world, and I can describe things with great detail during a session.  

To feel all these things can be exhausting, so over the years I have learned how to “turn off”
 receiving all of this energy when I’m not working.   I know that by not feeling everything every moment of every day helps me tremendously to have a “normal” life.  I want to be with friends and family without feeling every emotion.  I also feel that their emotions are not mine to feel and to do this with people around me without their permission crosses a boundary. 

I have worked with so many people that I would call Highly Sensitive Souls or Empaths.  We can feel a lot of emotions and don’t know how to control it or to not take everyone else’s emotions in.  Sometimes as a Highly Sensitive Soul we can confuse other’s emotions for our own.  This can sometimes cause anxiety, depression, isolation, the feeling of being different and sometimes it can create the inability to function in everyday life.

I want you to know without a doubt that you can find ways to manage your sensitivity.  It will take practice, but I know it is possible.

 When I realized my abilities as psychic and a medium, I felt overwhelmed with all the energy that surrounded me.  I reached out to a dear friend who had been psychic most of her life and was in her early 70’s when we had this discussion.  I explained that I was having trouble with all the energy and the other side constantly talking to me.  She simply asked me when my appointment was the next day then she said, “tell them to leave you alone until then.”   I thought to myself, okay I’m willing to try this.  I was going crazy with this bombarding me all the time.  

To my surprise when I spoke to them, my head and body didn’t feel anyone around. It got very quiet all of the sudden as if it just shut off.  I actually got a bit frightened and wondered if I did something to turn off my abilities.  So very nervous about this appointment, I sat down and asked the loved ones to come through, and the flow of their energy came right back.  They showed right back up for the session.   At that moment I realized I could control how much I felt, and my ability to connect with the other side.  I didn’t need to be at this heightened sensitivity every moment of my life.

Even though that moment showed me it could be an easy process, I have still worked on creating boundaries and taking steps to care for myself consistently.  

What I have found in my work is that young people really struggle if they are a Highly Sensitive Person. Unfortunately, being a sensitive may bring judgment by those that don’t understand how we are wired, which can cause for more pain for the empathic individual. 

I believe there are ways to understand and manage this and you may have to try a few different things before finding the right combination for you.  I also recommend you pay attention to what you are doing and how you feel when you are less invaded by energy.

Finding quiet time often is important to Highly Sensitive People.  Being out in nature will help ground you.   Eat a healthy diet and drink lots of water.   These seem like very simple things but when life is busy, these things are forgotten. 

Make sure you have plenty of sleep to recover from the psychic vampires during the day that zap your energy. I have found a cooler temperature and an organized room allow your mind to relax.   Essential oils for example Lavender or Sandalwood can help support a good night’s sleep.   Sleepy time teas like chamomile or simply having a routine for your body to know its bedtime will help as well.   Epsom salt baths along with the use of oils can help the body to relax for bed.   A quick meditation with the focus that all the energy is washing away can quiet your mind and energy.  

Do you have a pet?  Pets can show you unconditional love and support you with healing positive energy.  

Empaths or sensitive people have a huge tendency to attract projects instead of partners.  I see this all the time, because a sensitive individual will feel the pain of the other person and try to help them.  This is a big no no! Create that boundary for yourself. 

I’m not saying you can’t help others, but how many of these individuals are in your life.   If you want to help others, then as an empath you must find a good balance.  Find those that support you and help feed your soul. 

Exercise is also a great tool to use to move the energy that you may absorbed.  Simple idea and one you have probably already considered but it can be helpful. 

One of my favorite ways to release energy is laughter.  Watch comedy often, this is one of my go to’s.   Mala beads can be very helpful.  You can practice a calming Mantra and choose stones that support your healing.  You can wear them to help create an energy balance.  I created my line of Malas to help support people in many ways and this is exactly the reason why. 

One of the things I have taught in the past to change a pattern, I have encouraged people to wear a thick rubber band on their wrist.  Every time you take on someone’s energy or cross boundaries when you are not invited, snap the rubber band.  After enough times of snapping the rubber band, you will see your patterns so you can begin to change how you respond to the energy of others.

Pay attention to the cycles of the moon, weather and what is going on in the world.  You can be triggered by many of these things, and you many not even realize where the energy is coming from.  For Highly Sensitive People, hearing about negative pieces of the news can be very difficult, so I’m not encouraging you to listen to news every day, but things happening in the world can affect the way you feel.  For example, you may have heard stories of animals knowing days before an earthquake will hit or a disaster of some kind is coming. They feel it, you may experience this type of energy also and it may overwhelm you. 

If you are close to someone that is having a difficult time, you may be one that takes on their problems without even realizing it.  It is very important to find the difference between being there for them and taking on their energy.  Your soul does not want you to absorb everything around you.  

Feeling energy is a good thing, being a Highly Sensitive Person is a good thing.   Learning to manage it is the key to feel successful.  

If you have any ideas or things that have worked for you, share it with us.  I will choose one of you to receive a set of Forever Connected Oracle cards.  This tool can help you communicate with your loved ones on the other side.  

 Namasté,

Deb  

Your Intuition Is Important-Don’t Ignore It.

After almost two decades I’ve had the opportunity to help thousands of individuals open up to their psychic abilities.  Being psychic doesn’t mean you get the lottery numbers or get to escape learning lessons here on the earthly plane. Intuition is your sixth sense, and everyone is born with this ability.

The best way I have found to understand this concept is to watch animals.  Animals don’t attend parenting classes or question their senses.   They feel fear when danger is near, and they have innate nurturing abilities.  You will see an animal run if there is going to be an earthquake or a natural disaster.  This is their intuition and they trust it.  Small children also have a “sense of knowing” and children have not had an array of life experiences to understand what is happening.  However, we tell our children to do things that society deems acceptable instead of letting them trust their gut.

While trying to follow guidelines that society creates, which can include a person’s religious beliefs, we turn off that sixth sense that is our birth right.  How many times have you regretted that you didn’t listen to that little voice in your head?

Even as a psychic medium I still let the outside world influence me, but I keep trusting and I keep trying to listen to my intuition and heart.

The first time I got married, I thought “I could leave right now if I wanted too” as I was walking down the aisle.  During the exchange of my vows I thought “I could still say no”, but of course I didn’t.  What a surprise, the marriage lasted less than a year.  For years, I had been upset with him and all that happened around the marriage and situation, until one day I took accountability because I did not listen to my inner voice.  Has something like this happened to you?

Intuition comes with a couple of things, trust and surrender.  Not an easy thing for most of us to do.  Trusting that inner voice, means that you do not ignore it because others may judge you or try to talk you out of something.  It is your journey, trust your intuition.

Surrender, means you do not try to control the outcome.  Most of us want and desire love, abundance and a healthy life.  But, we try to control what “we” believe will make us happy instead of letting the universe bring in wonderful things you never imagined would be possible.

I had no plan of ever becoming a medium until I surrendered to it.   I never imagined this would be my work.  Getting out of your own way is a big step and trusting that you will be okay is essential.  When I chose to use and perfect my medium abilities I knew there would always be judgment and knew I would probably would lose friends and family, which I did.

Before becoming a medium, my life was not going well, and I was trying to control what I believe was the best outcome for our family.  Well, I was wrong and it took me a while to accept this new way of thinking.

Meditation maybe difficult for many.  It’s about being present, so you can listen to that inner voice.  Start by practicing with thinking of small questions.  When people start on this path they don’t start with simple things, such as where should I go eat today that will help me with my energy?  What line at the grocery store is good or which is the best way to drive home so we are all safe?

Have you ever listened to that “voice” when you think of someone, then you reach out to them and they tell you that something good just happened or they were having a difficult time?  They may even tell you that they were thinking of you and were about to reach out.  That’s your intuition.

KISS; Keep it simple sweetie is what I teach.  When you are at the beginning stages of trying to use your intuition I highly recommend that you don’t try focusing with the big life choices such as a job change, selling a home or leaving a relationship.  There will be too much attached to these life choices.

There are lots of oracle cards that you can purchase to begin practicing.  Try this on yourself and maybe a few friends with their permission.  This gives you new insights and tools to help you develop a more solid inner voice.

Go be in nature, take a hot bath, listen to good music, color mandalas, cook your favorite dish, laugher and even dancing can help you release what you are worried about so that inner voice can jump in to help.  Write down any insight you feel and trust that this is from universe.  If you begin to question everything you receive or if you choose to share with others and they are judgmental of you then go back to what you wrote and see how it feels without the negative voices.

You are born with your own GPS; Guided Psychic System.  It’s up to you to use it.  It wasn’t taken away from you, it is still there to use when you open yourself.

Surrender and trust the process.

You can do it!

Deb Sheppard